Feeling like quiting...

[HOWELL]

Well folks it has been so long and well pretty tireing..
I have been in this band and all..wel the thing is we are kinda already and well this girl comes along to do some back-up vocals.
Well she is trying to do the lead singers part. And the band does not seem to care.
I am pretty tired trying to do the back-up singing because she is not lowering the tone, the band starter well he does not like her so much when she sings, but he says we do need some back-up.
Well the thing is I am pretty tired of it because she does whatever she wants and never listens, and so if they want her I am fine with it.'
I will leave with my head held high knowing lots of people loved the way I sang, and they thought I was so good and all of that.
But I just cannot deal with me repeating all the phrases of the songs over and over again because of her, at the end she does what she wants and it is ok..
So well...I think I need y'alls help.

[Julles]

Howell,  I'm thinking it may be more than just this gal.  When you joined, you had the feeling that being part of the band would be fun and gratifying, but that it would cut into your main goal, which was school.

Could it be that this is the "handy excuse" you need, to excuse yourself from the band and get your mind back 100% on your studies?

If your buds don't back you up, and if they don't make the chic stick to the program, you are not getting the support you need.  Go with the sure thing, and the thing that will lead you to a good future.  The band is fun, but is it helping you meet your life goals?

[lerchcon]

I would have to agree with Julles, and cant even add anything to it.. good luck with everything

[Kittyzee]

What Julles said exactly.  And one more thing:  when something you enjoyed turns into something that's not enjoyable, or gratifying, it's time to move on. 

That's not to say that at some point down the road doing this singing would be good for you.  It's just a gentle prod that other things are more important at this time.   

[HOWELL]

If your buds don't back you up, and if they don't make the chic stick to the program, you are not getting the support you need.  Go with the sure thing, and the thing that will lead you to a good future.  The band is fun, but is it helping you meet your life goals?

Thanks Julles and yes.
Well it is merely a back up and friendship thing.
I am doing really good in school. Singing is just a hobby so it is not at the same level as my school work is.
I am keeping it real here so school is what I'm sticking with so far, but I was struggling and none of them care so far so I was like I don't have to keep doing this to myself, so she wants to be lead singer so be it.
I might be quiting soon. So will let ya know how that goes.
Thanks for the support.

[HOWELL]

What Julles said exactly.  And one more thing:  when something you enjoyed turns into something that's not enjoyable, or gratifying, it's time to move on. 

That's not to say that at some point down the road doing this singing would be good for you.  It's just a gentle prod that other things are more important at this time.   

Luann I agree it was fun because I was learning and I was enjoying, but now has become something hidious and not so cool, so why to keep in hanging in something I am not enjoying anymore.
What I think was cool, that maybe I was unaware I could do it and at the end I ended up doing it.
So I see that as a plus.

[miguynmkoi]

Julles is so correct!  If you're not having fun, it isn't a hobbie, no more!

[Esther]

I agree with everybody. Another thing, this chic sees you as an easy pushover I bet and I bet she's an agressive type. Maybe it isn't so much that the rest of the group chooses to let her "take over" but I suspect noone wants to "rock the boat" and tell her she's supposed to be backup and tone it down. Who handles the microphone levels? The problem with these groups who are just a bunch of newbies and friends, is that you have no professional to know how the levels should be set up. Now if she's back up, she usually doesn't sing the whole song. Usually they have phrases here or there or ooooooing and hmmmmmmming here or there. Or is she harmony? Still either way, backup or harmony, you/she shouldn't be blatting out and overpowering anyone else. The band wouldn't like it either if the drummer began banging so loudly you couldn't hear the guitar.

We had a message at church just Sunday about teamwork. It doesn't matter if is a team of horses, a church, a band, a family, or on a job. It's impossible to "get along" until everyone has figured out where they should be and everyone works together to accomplish the goal. Even in a one on one relationship it is hard to figure it out because it fluctuates all the time. In most situations, there cannot be two ALpha dogs.  If you decide to continue with the group somebody has to decide who is Alpha and carry out the orders. Or the two top dogs have to agree to share the spot. Usually this doesn't work and one gets booted or leaves rather than fight.

[HOWELL]

Thanks esther.
Well the thing is this band in not a newbie, he the guy that is starting it, has been in this for maybe 10 years already So, he knows about this.
The thing is she does the chorous well some of it, but she is not in pitch, or she goes over the top, or it just. Well my friend she is in another band and knows more about vocals and all, she was telling her how to do it but she did not care, she was doing it over and over agaiin wrong, and I was tired because I cannot be repeating all the chorous over and over again just because she just doesn't wanna understand.
Well the thing is now I don't know how to let her know that, because she gets so mad when people tells her she was wrong, when I told her she was saying some words wrong(songs are in english) she looked at me like she wanted to kill me. And I was like, I do know about this so trust me.
Oh gosh yesterday I just felt bad maybe because she gives me bad vibes.

Well thanks a lot esther.
I am always glad to listen from your mature and awesome anwears.