Thanks so much to all of you. This has been the hardest time of my life. Cancer is a horrible, terrible way to die. It steals everything that is good about life in a merciless and cruel way.
This situation was made worse by the fact that during one of my father's treatments, my mother fell and broke her hip. She was in the hospital for 3 weeks and then was unable to return to the home where they have lived for 15 years and where my father was. He was unable (and unwilling) to leave his home - that is where he lived and where he wanted to die. So these two, who have been married for 60 years and together litterally since they were children, were unable to be together in the last weeks of his life. It was sad and painful and horrible.
Thanks especially to a couple of people from here who have been supporting me thru pm's and emails throughout this ordeal. If I hadn't been able to vent somewhere, I might have killed a couple of my siblings. My parents had six children and all of them came home to help after Mom broke her hip. Four of us worked tirelessly with and for Mom and Dad to take care of whatever needed taking care of - two refused to even speak to anyone but each other. It would have been ok for them to refuse to help and keep to themselves, but they took it several steps farther and caused a great deal of trouble and anguish for everyone else - including my father. I've learned a lot about my family - some good and some bad.
The wake is this afternoon. There will be no funeral or memorial service, per my father's wishes. I am executor of the will and have to handle some financial and administrative matters that will keep me busy for a while longer, but I'll be back here soon. Thanks so much for thinking of me.