Mikey's Musings

[Mikey]

Here in SoCal it is common to see Mexicans selling seasonal fruit on freeway exits and on center dividers at major intersections.  They are there for hours on end, no bathroom breaks and probably working for something less than minimum wage.   Yesterday I was on the freeway off-ramp stopped for a red light.  On the side of the freeway off-ramp was a Mexican holding a cellophane bag of oranges that he was trying to sell.  We made eye contact and I quickly shook my head saying I didn’t want any.  A few feet away was a shopping cart loaded with many more bags of oranges.   It looked to me that sales were slow. 

A few feet away was another of God’s children that we here in SoCal frequently see on freeway exits, however, this person was an American holding up a brown cardboard sign.  The most popular sign these days seems to be, “Homeless”, and this sign stated just that.  And then to tug at the hearts of those so inclined it also said, “God bless you”.  The clean denim pants and clean hands of this “homeless” person told me he likely was not homeless and was a liar.  His flushed face and slightly staggering gait told me he was intoxicated and he was out panhandling to get more drinking money.

While stopped there I started thinking of the two men.  One a Mexican, here illegally for the purpose of working to earn money and the other an American, likely collecting disability or welfare, and begging for money to feed his alcoholism.  Which, if any, is more honorable I thought.

Next I see the driver or the car in front of me extend her left arm out the window holding paper money of an unknown denomination.  I’m immediately irritated and shout, “No lady!  Don’t give him money!”  She can’t hear me of course because my windows are rolled up…  The drunk walks over to her car and takes the money while giving her an appreciative nod of thanks. 

I glance at the Mexican and see him scratch his head as he watches the transaction.

The light turns green and I drive off and I’m scratching my head too wondering what America will be like in 20 years.

[Sunbeam56]

The snappy reply is the Mexican was a better panhandler - better schtick, and dressing the part. 
But that may not be true.

There's always a few bad apples in every barrel. Doesn't make stereotyping any easier.

I have great hope for the future. There's a lot of good kids out there. Who want to make world better.
The problem, of course, is that the kids we want to succeed may not. Drugs and the lure of sex will de-rail a lot of kids. But the ones that make it past the temptations of everyday existence will make things better than we did. The next generation doesn't always learn from their parents - but some things are unavoidable.

[mascot]

I always wonder about these panhandlers....if they can stand there for several hours a day and beg to take your money, why can't they get a job where they stand there for several hours and beg to take your order?  News programs have followed panhandlers to find out that they are collecting a tax-free income begging, and afterwards go home to a nice house with a family, often driving a rather nice car.  The kindness of strangers is what pays their way, not hard work or intestinal fortitude.  It's sad...because I've seen a guy on a corner smoking one nail after another begging for money with two [dirty] kids in tow and a sign saying "need money to feed the kids".  His pack of smokes would have bought each of them a happy meal....but I guess his nicotine fix was more important than food for his children...that is, if they really are his kids.

Maybe there's a "will work for food" franchise out where these people get the materials to make a sign, and for a low rate you can rent unbathed children to win the sympathy vote, all for a mere 10% of your daily take?  I just don't trust panhandlers anymore, these freeloaders give honest to goodness panhandling a bad name these days! 

[Julles]

Yesterday, outside CVS Pharmacy, there was a 20-30's woman, nice and clean as you or I, out panhandling.  She had along her toddler, and another baby in a stroller, both clean and neat as a pin.

She asked me for 50c, and I just screamed at her, "Shame on you, out here with your two children!"  They use the kids to ply your sympathy.

[bunny56lbc]

When I see someone panhandling ( which isn't very often ) I usually will give them something...money or food .
Especially if they have a sign saying they will work for food ....I cannot help but feel sorry for them.

bonnie 

[MikeW]

Does make you wonder Mike, doesn't it. We have to try and make work more attractive than welfare somehow.

I dropped my car off for some work this morning, and while walking back to the office, I saw on old street bum sitting at a bus stop with his dog. I see them from time to time and the dog always seems calm, and I wonder who is taking care of whom. As I was now going to walk by them, I got some money out, but as I passed, the old bum didn't even look up, just continued sipping his coffee. The dog watched with interest. I saw the old guys blanket in his cart; dirty and torn - but under the bench was a nice blanket, with dog bowl, full of food, and some water.

It just made me feel so good, and I forgot i was going to give him some money.

Cheers,

Mike

[Esther]

A while back we approached a red light on the edge of Grand Rapids and noticed a guy, early thirties, clean but needed a haircut and shave. He was standing in the medium with a sign that said something about needing money for food. So we go through the intersection and turn around. Pete stops and lets me out. I approach the guy and tell him we'd take him to the local Aldi's store which is a low priced grocery store. I had set in my mind to buy around $100 worth of canned and packaged food, figuring he had a family or if not, at least take him to a restaurant and sharing a meal with him. Nope he doesn't want that. What he really wanted was money because he was staying at a local low priced motel and needed money for that night's bed. So I say, "Why not head down town to one of the missions. The bed and food is free." Um yes, he knew about them but doesn't like it there. So I said, "Well I was going to try to help you out but seeing I can already small alcohol on your breath and it's ll:30 AM, I'm not about to help you on your way to the gutter."  He was very polite and said he wouldn't want me to do something I was uncomfortable with and he understood. I got back in the car and left.

Pete told me that years ago he was working downtown and a street person came up to him and asked for money because he was hungry. Pete gave him a $5 and later saw him walk by with a brown bag obviously in the shape of a bottle. Made him mad and he'll never forget what made him determine never give to a panhandler.

A long time ago when the kids were early teens, we saw a guy out here in the country on the corner with a sign about working for food. We stopped and talked to him and learned he had kids and their ages. It was right after Christmas. We came on home and loaded up a couple of bags of groceries. Each of the kids were instructed to go to their stash of Christmas presents and find one thing they were willing to part with to give to the guy. They did and I did too. We loaded the stuff in the car and when we got there, the man was talking to another guy about a job so we just unloaded our bags and never knew how that turned out. But the kids now 25 or so years later, still mention that and remember the experience in a positive way.

[mascot]

One day I was at an ARCO station and a guy walks up and asks me for money.  He said he's a plumber and had to use his gas money to buy a part, and couldn't get home.  I laughed... "yeah, right"... and went on my way.   The next day, I happened to be in the same ARCO station and the same guy, dressed differently, asked me for money using the same line.  I told him, "you should buy a camera and take pictures of all the people you use that line on.  Didn't work on me yesterday, and it's not working today, either!". 

Then there were these kids in a mini pickup asking for money to get home to Los Angeles (a 2+ hour drive).  I asked him, if you don't have any money, why did you keep driving further from your home when your gas tank was half empty??".  Makes sense to me...! 

[reddad35]

I stop at roadside vegetable setups alot. I have never given these people extra money or more money than what they were asking. I have though on many occasions bought childrens bake sale items for 10 bucks when they were asking 25 cents for their product like for boyscouts, girlscouts, school and the like. After reading this I guess that is a little weird to do.

 As a Surveyor I bring my lunch with me most of the time. I sometimes don't eat it so the back of my truck looks like a pantry at times. (Ravioli, soups, canned chili etc.) I was at an intersection in Florida where a guy had a will work for food sign. I got out of the truck grabbed a couple of cans of goods and offered it to him. He told me no thanks he would rather have money. I told him, me too but all I have is this food, take care brother, put the food back in the truck and left.  

 Another thing, does anyone else on this forum seem to run into someone who just ran out of gas on every trip you take as I seem to. Seems like while I am on vacation I tend to stop at the gas station that has someone that ran out of gas and has no money. Everytime
"Hey mister anything you can do to help?"

[mascot]

Another thing, does anyone else on this forum seem to run into someone who just ran out of gas on every trip you take as I seem to. Seems like while I am on vacation I tend to stop at the gas station that has someone that ran out of gas and has no money. Everytime
"Hey mister anything you can do to help?"

Isn't it oddly convenient that they always seem to run out of gas at a gas station?  I never see someone at the pet store telling me that they need gas money! 

[reddad35]

   yes I know it sounds funny but in town I have never been approached.  Seems I am approached every vacation. seems I am lucky enough to be there for someone in a strange town every time I am in a new town.

[Julles]

" I have though on many occasions bought childrens bake sale items for 10 bucks when they were asking 25 cents for their product"



I think kids learn about business and managing money by selling lemonade and the like from road side stands.  I usually stop and buy a glass.  Once, in a fairly well-to-do neighborhood, I gave a cute little kid a dollar bill for the 25c  drink, and waited for him to give me my change, as any good business man would do.  Well, that kid was so used to people thinking he was "cute," and other people just giving him a tip, that he expected me to not want any change.  Now, that's not going to teach him anything about doing business in the real world!  I stood there and asked for my 75c change. 

And, yes, the ploy about needing "$1.57 to have enough to buy a hose for my radiator" is an old one. 

Re taking these people home to do the odd jobs their signs promise they will do for money or food, you could run into a liability if they are hurt (accidentally or intentionally) on your property. 

Even though many of these people honestly can not hold jobs, due to mental problems, I never give beggers money.  Usually I say something not-so-polite about getting a job.  One time, I had just told the begger off, and was rolling up the window, and my girlfriend in the passenger seat was leaning across me to hand a dollar bill out the window! 

[karen J]

I drove down to Mexico when visiting my bro and his wife in San Diego. We got a flat tire traveling back north from Ensenada through Tiuana. While my Brother was repairing the tire we were approached by a gent who said that he had no job and his wife was home sick. Would we please give him some money?
As it happens, my brother's wife had a close friend from Denmark with us (her name was Pia), and Pia said "why are you not home caring for your sick wife??"

That was so telling for me as an American. Obviously, it was a clear and logical question, but I would have never thought to ask. I probably would have given some spare change.

[reddad35]

" I have though on many occasions bought childrens bake sale items for 10 bucks when they were asking 25 cents for their product"



I think kids learn about business and managing money by selling lemonade and the like from road side stands.  I usually stop and buy a glass.  Once, in a fairly well-to-do neighborhood, I gave a cute little kid a dollar bill for the 25c  drink, and waited for him to give me my change, as any good business man would do.  Well, that kid was so used to people thinking he was "cute," and other people just giving him a tip, that he expected me to not want any change.  Now, that's not going to teach him anything about doing business in the real world!  I stood there and asked for my 75c change. 

I think you are right Julles but I was buying from kids trying to raise money for scouts, school, sports not a new and growing business. Every Lemonade stand I come across that has a kid under the age of 7 that seems to me is wanting to learn about business and money management, I do the same. I actually try to talk them into selling it to me for less. I also, if I spill it on myself threaten to sue them and complain about the plastic cup they gave me. That will teach them about business.    Just joking there. I am sure that by you demanding your change from a kid didn't make him/her a great business person or even change his/her life for the better.  They simply gave you your change. I bet they did however get really excited about the other people that gave them a tip for being cute or just for being a kid.

[JimMcD in SVAZ]

Several years ago we stayed at a hotel in Asheville, NC.  When checking out in the morning the desk clerk warned us about panhandlers in the parking lot "who need a few more dollars for a new battery."  Sure enough, we were loading our car and "the battery guy" came over.  This guy was so good that even after the warning I was tempted to help him out.  Must have been his Southern Charm.  But I didn't give him anything.

In Washington, DC, and probably every large city with a transit system well-dressed men will ask for bus fare or subway fare because "I left my wallet at home and have to get to work early today."  The police say they panhandle at different stops along their routes, and that some actually have good paying jobs, they just like the thrill of conning someone out of money. 

When I was a much younger Navy man I was a pretty soft touch for anyone claiming to be a veteran.  Now every bum in camo fatigues is a "veteran".  I hate being cold, but it's self defense against giving away everything I've got.

[miguynmkoi]

I need a sign to keep people from approaching my car at gas stations too!  It's gotten to the point that I dread getting a fill up.  It never fails, mostly guys, young and middle age, ask for spare change for one reason or another.  Only one guy was honest to ask for change to support his drinking habit.  Nope he didn't get a penny from me.

Most of the time now I make plans to go out of the way to fill up my car at a gas station that has an active attendant manning the pumps.  I need my space!!!

[Mikey]

I need a sign to keep people from approaching my car at gas stations too!  It's gotten to the point that I dread getting a fill up.  It never fails, mostly guys, young and middle age, ask for spare change for one reason or another.

Annette: It's time to have some fun.  Next time you are at a gas station, or anywhere, and see someone approach you to ask for money, beat them to the punch.  "Hi there.  Could you give me some gas money?" or "Hi there.  Do you have any spare change that I can have?  I'm trying to put my kids through college."

[Esther]

You need a sign that says, "I don't give to panhandlers." My stepdaughter has a sign on her front door, "No solicitors." I think Mikey has one too.

[mascot]

I had a sign on my front door that said "NO SOLICITORS" and someone stole it.   

Many years ago, we had to park about a block from where I worked and every morning there was a homeless guy sitting by the 7-11.  He never asked for anything, just sat there or was standing off to the side.  So one morning I decided to buy him a sandwich and handed it to him.  He looked up and smiled when I asked if he was hungry, and said "Thank you!".  The next day I walked by and said hi to him, and he ignored me.  I figured if he can only be polite when I buy him food, then I don't need to buy him food...and that was the last time.

These days too many people just want handouts and if they can't do something to show me that they're doing more than just waiting for a handout, I don't care to give them money.  I feel bad when a guy wants to wash my windows to earn the money and I turn him down...but I won't give money to someone who is hungry and smoking a cigarette. 

[Mikey]

My stepdaughter has a sign on her front door, "No solicitors." I think Mikey has one too.

No Esther, not us......

[miguynmkoi]

My stepdaughter has a sign on her front door, "No solicitors." I think Mikey has one too.

I use to have one on my door too.  But I figured these people do not know how to read or want a challenge at the door.

Love your sign Mikey!  May have to put out a new sign! 

[Julles]

"I need a sign to keep people from approaching my car at gas stations too!  It's gotten to the point that I dread getting a fill up.  It never fails, mostly guys, young and middle age.  Most of the time now I make plans to go out of the way to fill up my car at a gas station that has an active attendant manning the pumps."

It's also darned scary.  You never know who's a panhandler and who's a mugger.  I won't fill up in a station that's dark and if no one else is around.  Also, I hook up the nozzel and then get back in my car and lock the door until the tank is full.  I don't at all like people "walking up on me" from behind.

"So one morning I decided to buy him a sandwich and handed it to him.  He looked up and smiled when I asked if he was hungry, and said "Thank you!".  The next day I walked by and said hi to him, and he ignored me."

Blind, it could be that that man was somewhat "mental," as the cops say, and simply didn't remember you the next day.  A lot of those street people (I refuse to use the politically-correct term "homeless") have psychological / psychiatric problems.

[mascot]

Julles - I really didn't have a problem with him not remembering me, that's not what bothered me.  It's just that he would never exchange a greeting unless you were handing him money or food.  At least earn the gesture, you know?

[Esther]

That was why Mikey had to expand on his original sign. Someone didn't know what a solicitor was.

[fishlipsmcgee]

I don't get asked for money every time I stop at a gas station but I try to give something when someone asks or if I see someone on the side of the road.  A lot of times it is just a prayer for them as I drive by.  I cannot know if someone is really in need or scamming but I would rather give a dollar or two than take the chance of passing someone by who needs help.  If they are taking advantage of someone, then that is between them and God.

This story is kind of backward to the theme of this thread, but it just came to mind so here it goes.  I know there are a lot of urban legends out there similar to this but my father's cousin told me this herself and it just sort of came up in our conversation one day.  I never heard her mention it again and  I have no reason to doubt her.  She had quite a colorful life and it is too bad she never wrote down her life story.  I would love to read her diary - haha.  Anyway, she was living in Las Vegas at the time.  I saw a picture of her when she was younger and she was beautiful!!!  She was in a casino bar or somewhere and a man approached her and told her that his friend would like to buy her a drink.  She looked at the friend who she said looked like a bum, laughed and said "he looks like I should be buying HIM a drink"  Well it turned out to be Howard Hughes.  Funny, I haven't thought of that story in years.  Like I said it is sort of backward as it turned out he looked like a bum but had millions but I gues it's true that you can't judge a book by it's cover. 

[mascot]

A similar story -

I knew a guy (Phil) who let a "bum" sleep on his couch one night.  They kind of became friends of sorts, and Phil helped the bum from time to time whenever their paths crossed.  Then Phil didn't hear from him for a while, and he later found out the bum had died. 

A few months went by and Phil was approached by someone in a suit, and Phil found out that the bum had left Phil about $6 Million in real estate (and this was in the early 80's). 

You just never know who it is that you're helping...he could seem to be helpless, and then turn out to be an eccentric millionaire.

[LeeAnne151]

When I worked at grocery stores we got panhandlers in the parking lots all the time. They would say their car broke down and they needed gas to get home (the last store I worked at was near the interstate freeway) They would also say they were hungry or if they had a kid that they needed diapers.

People would give them money and they'd come into the store and buy supplies to make methamphetamine with until they were all locked up and you had to show your id. Then they would buy beer and cigarettes. If people gave them food they'd put it in the garbage or more often just throw it on the ground.

There were big windows in the floral department and I could see this crap go on day after day, year after year.

I'd have people coming in complaining that they gave that nice young couple or that poor guy gas money or diaper money and that they didn't buy gas (they were still there, telling the same story a week later) or diapers (they saw them in line with the smokes or beer) and I was not allowed to say "what did you expect?"

I never ever give money to anyone begging by the side of the road. I don't believe for one minute that they are legitimately in need. There are too many resources in this country for those in need.

I don't know about other states but here in Oregon the beggers/panhandlers are all white and almost all of them are smoking. If they can afford cigarettes they aren't that poor.....(no offense intended to smokers, just stating an opinion based on the high cost of the habit)

I did give an African American man money once but he was washing windows. He had a bucket and a squeegee and he was very nice and it was a long line of traffic. He did a good job too.

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