My heart is breaking...

[SheilaJ]

I'm not usually a very sentimental person, so please bear with me here...

I've been on the edge of tears ever since yesterday afternoon when I heard about the Va. Tech shootings.

Then today I got further details about the horrific marital separation that our parish priest is suffering through. He is a good man, kind, gentle, a devoted family man with two young sons, who is being put through the wringer and accused unfairly of all kinds of wrongdoing. His secretary is being dragged into the middle of it, too, and she has her own personal problems with which she is struggling.

Please, if you believe in the power of prayer, pray for Rev. Chris, his family, and St. George's church. It is a truly special place, and that is due largely to the work that Chris has done there. I hate to see him suffer, and I would hate for him to want to leave.

I also hate feeling helpless to do anything to help. Even having the day off to play with my plants isn't lifting my spirits one bit.

Thanks.

[Esther]

Yup it's hard to see anyone suffer, especially one of God's servants. We just don't understand why God would allow something like you are seeing to happen to a good person. But you see, that is what's neat about your situation, the responsibility isn't on your shoulders, it's in God's hands. The hard part is giving it over to God and doing what we can do and that is praying. You could possibly send him a card to let him know you think of him often and pray for him.  If he is alone, you could take a casserole or do something helpful. I think pastors have a real hard row to hoe anyway. They can't talk to just anybody about their problems. They are expected to be able to handle anything without breaking. They may be just as vulnerable as the parishioners

[Johns]

SheilaJ

Here comes the cold water from the unfeeling grumpy old man..

IMHO, God has little to do with 99% of the problems we humans find ourselves in as they are mostly of our own making, especially those having to do with interpersonal relationships.  It is understandible how we may feel for those we respect and love whenever they are having such turmoil, but us praying about it is futile other than making us feel better, because the outcome is not really of our making or even our business. 

Voice of experience:  When someone you know and care about is embroiled in such a problem, be very afraid of choosing sides, as only those parties directly involved know the truth of the dispute.  Remember, the flesh is weak, and that goes for those who wear the "cloth" along with all the rest of us as well.

As far as your own feelings of sadness, its amazing how uplifting it can be to take action, however small, in providing help to someone who truly needs it.   This can be a neighbor who needs help just getting groceries or having their grass cut, or someone in a nursing home that never seems to have any visitors.  In other words, random acts of kindness are very therapeutic.  "Pay it forward" provides instant returns.

Have faith, You will feel better tomorrow.

[Esther]

So John, even IF the result of the prayer is ONLY to make the person feel better, then I'd say that it had a good result. So the person who truely believes in God and prayer is one up on the person who doesn't when things go bad, even if only in their head. 

As in any relationship, the story has two sides as I'm sure Sheila is very aware. These situations can be very touchy especially when they have to do with people we hold in high respect, no matter who they are. I imagine that it particularly hits us in the gut when we see people who have given their lives to God and helping people being hurt in one way or another. Here's hoping that this family will be able to solve their difficulties and move on in their lives.

Sheila, I know you have faith already so stay strong in it. Some day you may see something good has come from this situation.

[Johns]

Esther,

Your first paragraph missed the point of my post.

Here it is, spelled out:  SheilaJ should quit feeling sorry for her minister.  His problems are his, not hers, and as I said before, God has nothing to do with it.  Rather than waste her time praying for a resolution that may or may not occur (Once again, Divine intervention is so unlikely as to be an impossibility), she should direct her attention to activities that will actually make a difference in someones life (For example, an act of kindness to a stranger).

After your first paragraph, we agree.

 

[SueSTx]

Shouldn't we be praying..."thy will be done"?  Too many times we pray for a specific solution to make us feel better.  If we pray for "thy will be done", all ours prayers will be answered.

[SheilaJ]

I am aware that in any marriage, there are two sides to every story, and I only have access to one side. I imagine there is more to the story; there usually is. I agree that no human being, even a minister or highly religious person, is perfect.

I did not ask for prayers that the marriage be mended or that any specific outcome I have in mind might come to pass. When I asked for prayers, what I meant but did not specify, was prayers for guidance and strength to make good choices and to endure a horrific situation without falling to pieces. I asked for prayers for him and his family, including his wife and kids, regardless of who is "right" or "wrong".  I asked for prayers for the church, which is obviously affected by the suffering and distraction of its leader. "Thy will be done" is an excellent prayer and appropriate for all situations.

I agree with Johns that most of this world's suffering is due to human actions, usually poorly made choices. I agree that the outcome, whatever it is, will not be of my making. But I do think that it can be and IS my business to care about my fellow humans.

I do try to practice random acts of kindness. I'm sure I could do more of them, especially on days when I am paralyzed by despair such as yesterday.

I am not going to stop feeling sorry for my minister.

The way I understand it, Johns believes that kind actions create a visible positive impact in this world. I agree. The way I understand it, Johns does not believe that prayer is likely to change the situation and does feel that praying is futile except to make the person praying feel better. On that point, we will just have to agree to disagree.

It was not and is not my intention to start a debate about religion here. But I try to be open-minded enough to listen to and respect other people's beliefs.

[Teresa]

Sheila, you are obviously a kind hearted person.  Please don't listen to any advice that alters that in any way.  Please keep praying for what you believe you need to pray for and please keep trying to be a force of good in this world.  Beyond that, there is nothing more you can do.

[SheilaJ]

Thanks, Theresa.

[happyoutsidegirl]

Very well said Theresa.