I too would do a lot of partial water changes because I can't watch fish suffer. If you change 25% of the water every week, you will still cycle your pond and you will give the fish a break from whatever is bad. I have 2 bog filters here and another one working up in calif. They have done a good job for me but I always have a pretty low fish load. Do you have a lot of fish in the pond? Down here I even have cichlids in my ponds with only a bog filter and they are doing fine. Also, my PH is over 9, I can't really test it with my kit because it stops at about 9. Usually, fish can deal with larger extremes in PH if it is stable. I wouldn't try and lower the PH with chemicals, it won't work over time and it will stress the fish.
I feel for you having your kids watch their fish die. That's a tough one. I hope you figure out what was going wrong. It doesn't normally work like that. Add air, do regular water changes, keep testing the water regularly... that's the advice you've gotten and I agree with it.