My great wife!

[Jerry]

Dear Friends;

It is important for men to remember that as women grow older it becomes
harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as they did
when they were younger.  When men notice this, they should try not to yell.
Let me relate how I handle the situation.

When I retired  it became necessary for Elaine to get a full-time job,both for extra income and for health benefits that we need.  It was shortly after she started working that I noticed that she was beginning to show her age.

I usually get home from fishing  about the same time she gets home from work.  Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says that she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts supper.  I try not to yell, instead I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she finally does get supper on the table. 

She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating.  It is now not
unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after supper.  I do what I can by reminding her several times each evening that they aren't cleaning themselves.  I know she appreciates this, as it does seem to help her get them done before she goes to bed.  Now that she is older she seems to get tired so much more quickly.

Our washer and dryer are in the garage.   Sometimes she says she just
can't make another trip..  I don't make a big issue of this.  As long as she finishes up the laundry the next evening I am willing to overlook it.  Not only that, but unless I need something ironed to wear to the Monday lodge meeting or to Wednesday's or Saturday's poker club or to Tuesday's or Thursday's bowling or something  like that, I will tell her to wait until the next evening to do the ironing.  This gives her  little more time to do some of those odds and ends things like vacuuming or dusting.  Also, if I have had a really good day fishing, this allows her to gut and scale the fish at a more leisurely pace.

Elaine is starting to complain a little occasionally.  For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour.  In spite of her complaining, I continue to try to offer  encouragement.  I tell her  to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to  rush so much.  I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any, if you know what I mean.

When doing simple jobs she seems to think she needs more rest periods.
She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard.
I try not to embarrass her when she needs these little extra rest breaks. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while.  I tell her that as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me and take her break by the hammock so she can talk with me until I fall asleep.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Elaine on a daily basis.  I'm not saying that the ability to show this much consideration is easy.  Many men will find it difficult.  Some will find it impossible.  No one knows better than I do how frustrating women can become as they get older. 

However, guys, even if you just yell at your wife a little less often
because of this letter, I will consider that writing it was worthwhile.

Kindest Regards   .....

Jerry

[EagleEye]

You are my HERO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Steve

[JohnInFlorida]

Boy oh Boy, are you in for it ... I used to think you were a smart guy, but to post that letter, here, with this bunch of lovely ladies ... well, you have more b*lls than brains ... Good luck, my friend ...

Keep Smilin'
John 

P.S. It's a good thing everyone knows you're a jokester ... or you would REALLY be in trouble ...

 

[Jerry]

Id agree John but she laughed too, no truth to it at all.  I loved the look on her face as she read it.
Her old school principal is a lovely elderly lady (my wife was a teacher.)  I sent it to her. Ms Rush has a great sense of humor even though she seems austere.  She loved it.

The ladies here will laugh, if not my judgment is way off.

[CT]

Very funny!        ..For Elaine

THE GOOD WIFE 1950 vs. 2006
     
1950s Home Economics

The following is from an actual 1950s home economics textbook intended for high school girls, teaching them how to prepare for married life.

1. Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal -- on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.

2. Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

3. Clear away clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too.

4. Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

5. Minimize the noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him.

6. Some DON'TS: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he's late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.

7. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lay down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.

8. Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

9. Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment; instead try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his need to be home and relax.

10. The Goal: try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can relax.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now the updated version for the woman of 2006:

1. Have dinner ready. Make reservations ahead of time. If your day becomes too hectic, just leave him a voice mail message regarding where you'd like to eat and at what time. This lets him know that your day has been crappy and gives him an opportunity to change your mood.

2. Prepare yourself. A quick stop at the "LANCOME" counter on your way home will do wonders for your outlook and will keep you from becoming irritated every time he opens his mouth. (Don't forget to use his credit card!)

3. Clear away the clutter. Call the housekeeper and tell her that any miscellaneous items left on the floor by the children can be placed in the Goodwill box in the garage.

4. Prepare the children. Send the children to their rooms to watch television or play Nintendo. After all, both of them are from his previous marriages.

5. Minimize the noise: If you happen to be home when he arrives, be in the bathroom with the door locked.

6. Some DON'TS: Don't greet him with problems and complaints. Let him speak first, and then your complaints will get more attention and remain fresh in his mind throughout dinner. Don't complain if he's late for dinner, simply remind him that the leftovers are in the fridge and you left the dishes for him to do.

7. Make him comfortable: Tell him where he can find a blanket if he's cold. This will really show you care.

8. Listen to him: But don't ever let him get the last word.

9. Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or other places of entertainment; go with a friend or go shopping (use his credit card).

10. The Goal: Try to keep things amicable without reminding him that he only thinks the world revolves around him. Obviously he's wrong, it revolves around you.

 

Kay (1950's model updated to 2006) 
 

[Mikey]

You the Man!

[Jerry]

Good one KAY!

[Kittyzee]

Funny stuff you guys!  You know, I actually remember in Jr. high, early high school probably in health class in a text book talking about dating -- something like finding out what his interests are so you can show you are totally interested in him, how you should look, act, etc.  Especially sports -- learning the games so you can "talk" about it and know what you're talking about.  Uh huh.....   Jerry, I'm sure Elaine knows what a lucky woman she is to have such a wonderful and considerate husband,,,constantly looking out for her welfare..what a man

[CT]

LuAnn,
 I remember that book! I didn't do too well in that regard, too much of a tomboy.
Jerry, you are a great guy 
 

[Jerry]

Kay & Kitty...you are da womans!

[Viv]

That 1950's text book,         

<----- wiping away tears   

[PondmaninAL]

I just want to know why it is that I do all of the cooking during the week and even wash the dishes on the weekend? I best stand up and let my wife know that I'm the man of this house! Then I'll coward to my corner. I think my jewels were removed at the wedding.

Scott

[MikeW]

I got a real chuckle from this. My mum raised us in servant riddled South Africa, where all she had to do was decide the menus for the day - while being served tea in bed - and to this day, has issues with the way my sister is raising her two kids in California.

I remember getting into trouble for 'ringing for a servant' when we clearly did not need one - discarded clothing on floor needs laundering - we could put it in the basket - and to this day, she flies over and lectures my sister on raising kids.

Now, I love my mom, but when she came over to 'help' my sister through her first birth, she confided in me that " I really don't like children", that's when we hit a new plateau. My mom had become my friend. We have both quit since, but she moved into my house, because she could smoke, and ventured into Beverly Hills once a week to 'pretend she cared'.

While we are at it, my favourite 'mom' story, was during my confirmation into the Anglican Church. (Episcopal on this continent ). After being confirmed by the Bishop of Pretoria, I return to the family pew, and mom is not there. Being concerned, in case she is ill, I go outside, to find her puffing away. "I always have to smoke when I drink" is her comment after the communion wine. Well, I have never been able to take organized religion very seriously after that.

I am grateful that my parents exposed me to everything, whether they believed in it or not, that we kids might make up our own minds about stuff.

I am a liberal arts major, who makes no real money as a result.

Cheers,

Mike

[Kittyzee]

Mike W, I am wiping away tears about your Mom and the needing a smoke after I drink thing.  I am a member (actually the administrative asst. for a 3 church Episcopal Cluster) and there are STILL people who practice religion like that.  They have their OWN PEW, (and don't you dare sit in it) and they are the old guard -- a dying breed--funny and sad at the same time.  We could write BOOKS on the subject, but I am sorry it tainted your confirmation, however, it did give you a great memory!!     And she gave you the freedom to make up your own mind about religion, and a lot of other things I'm sure, but just because you don't make "real" money...I know you are a great person, after all, you're here aren't you?! 

[Teresa]

MikeW you are a trip!!!  And I love you for it!!!!

Kay, I'm not quite sure to which era I belong  . . . . . think I'll have to ask DH and the girls to read the two and tell me . . . . . . . 

[karen J]

I am a liberal arts major, who makes no real money as a result.
Mike

Oh my... I suspect you and I have much in common, except for the servants.

Kay, I had seen that 50's one before, but never saw the updated one. I like that. 

[ladybug]

the first time it read this last night, i thought did he really say those things to her??   i couldn't possibly have read that you treated your wife that way. no i had to be wrong.  i went back this morning and looked at it again and was searching for the ha, ha in there somewhere, but i never found it.  i am glad to know now that it was there but only in secret.  my first reaction was you need to be popped but now i realize your wife just needs to be pooped by your sense of humor.
ladybug

[Jerry]

Yes Ladybug just a joke. The whole thing is a made up bit of humor. My wife is well treated and so am I. Sure she is not the 19 year old I married, but I am not the same either.  I do have the marvelous ability to look in the mirror and see what i want! 
There was a famous ad by a guy seeking a wife.  he wanted to meet a woman who had a boat and was willing to cut bait!  He was kidding too.

[Krista]

too funny Jerry!!!



And Mike, it's Anglican on this side of the border too... my Mom is director of music at the Anglican and Lutheran church in town. Makes for crazy Sunday mornings :S But she is Anglican. I just about PMP at your memory of confirmation. Thanks for the smiles this morning

and no, I'm not going to church.

[maryvonne]

Good one Jerry. I'd read it before so knew it was a joke. Mike, your stories are incredibly funny and you need to quit your day job and start a new career as a writer.

Maryvonne