To 2Vetts and all you other ancients.

[Esther]

$5.37. That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bueno said to me.  I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the  truck to grab some change when the kid with the Emo hairdo said the harshest thing anyone has ever said to me.. He said,
"It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."

I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me.

"Only $4.68" he said cheerfully.

I stood there stupefied. I am 48, not even 50 yet a mere child! Senior citizen?  I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Emo. Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me?

 
I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile. Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler?

"Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?"

I stared with utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind.  "Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!"

 
I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried another.  Still nothing. That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror. Then, a few other objects came into focus. The car seat in the back seat. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard.  A partially eaten dough nut on the dashboard.

 
Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle.  Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere  to be found.. I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into  the restaurant one final time.  There Emo stood, draped in youth and  black nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?"

All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here?"

At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits.

 
 Emo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a  young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag.

His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake."

I took the food and drink from the  little boy and sheepishly apologized.

She offered these kind words: "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like this all the time."

All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40.Yes, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius. And no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast.

As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blanky.

The good news was I had successfully found my way home.
 

[mascot]

This reminds me of certain times in my life when I'm at an impass: do I look younger than my age or am I older than I feel?

I play indoor soccer and there have been times where people who are younger than me make me feel great (my age at that time is in parenthesis):
1.  A rather fit, somewhat muscular guy my age comes up to me and told me I make him sick.  I had been playing for two hours already, and he said he had just gotten there and couldn't even keep up with me.  (42)
2.  A much younger, 25 year old comes up to me and asks what vitamins I take because he wants to be as healthy and in good shape as I am when he reaches my age. (42)
3.  A girl on my co-ed team says she hates being the oldest one on the team.  I asked how old she was, and she said 28.  So I told her she wasn't the oldest and she wanted to see my driver's license. (37)

Then someone else really irritates the crap out of me:
1.  We allowed some of the younger kids of other players join us in a pick up game, and one 15 year old kid was being a bit of a jerk on the field and we got into a bit of a discussion.  He turns to me and questions why I'm arguing, asking me, "what are you, like 50 or something???" (40)
2.  A 49 year old lady on one of my teams could pretty much run the entire time we are out there, and faster than everyone else when she sprinted. (39)
3.  A 52 year old guy was out there every week, not exactly the fastest or best player, but he never seemed to sweat, pant, breathe heavily or complain. (42)

Now that I'm almost 49, I was actually quite proud of myself when I played last week and one of the women on my team commented that I was outrunning the fastest player on the other team, and one of my own players told me to just shoot the ball when I sprint down field because nobody else can keep up with me if I'm out in front.  Then I was sprinting full speed and a huge guy stepped out in front of me and I tumbled.  I believe I did a 1.5 gainer with a triple body twist, but I didn't stick the landing.  I got the wind knocked out of me, sprained my wrist and laid there trying to catch my breath as everyone rushed over.  I guess it was quite a spectacle, from what I was told.  I survived and still played a few minutes later, but I realized that I'm not 32 anymore!  But I'll get there soon! 

[Esther]

It certainly sounds like you are in good shape BF. Of course with your job, it demands that you are. Somehow bankers are expected to look pretty good on the outside but running isn't expected very often. Oddly enough I was raised to work hard but we didn't exercise===ever, and unfortunately, I never do, so as you have no doubt guessed. My face doesn't look my age but I am so out of shape and over weight, it isn't funny, sad really. When work needs to be done on the duplex or outside, I'm able to do anything but I need an attitude adjustment I know. I have lost heart about this eating/exercise thing.  :'(

67 is Sunday.

[2vetts]

HUHH!!!!! and also what is an ''emo style'' haircut . i was going to run away from home but i'm not allowed to cross the street any more [to hard for me to get up the curb ,i guess].

[Esther]

See we're so old, we don't even understand the youth fashion. Have you noticed that mohawk haircuts were back, at least in this area?

[jw]

Esther I don't know what an Emo haircut is either..............please describe  .