Author Topic: Esther's Journey (Read 6215 times)

Esther · « **on:** January 02, 2012, 08:54:28 AM »

At my last mammogram, I was told that they had detected some "changes" and to schedule another in 6 months. Recently the test was repeated and they again detected more changes. A needle biopsy was performed and the tissue that was removed was malignant. Tuesday morning I have an appointment with the doctor.

Grand Rapids is loaded with medical facilities so I'm fortunate to have close access to them.

This doesn't come with much surprise as my mother had breast cancer and so did my father's mother.

I have started a page on Facebook so if you want to follow my "journey", login and do a search for Esther's Journey. Ask to be added and I will.

miguynmkoi · « **Reply #1 on:** January 03, 2012, 03:11:02 PM »

Dear dear Esther. Very Sorry to hear about your sad and scary news from the the doctor's. Wishing you strong resistance to the dreaded disease. The strength you show us with your intelligence will help you fight it. I don't do Facebook. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs all around.

SueSTx · « **Reply #2 on:** January 03, 2012, 04:14:29 PM »

Prayers extended your way Esther.

(I don't facebook either)

Esther · « **Reply #3 on:** January 04, 2012, 06:34:46 AM »

I found that Facebook was so much more flexible than a forum. I have the capability to quickly scan what's happening with my friends for the day, and/or tell them all something like this, all at one time. I can talk to my pond people as well as my family and social friends. There are ways to talk to only one group or another. There are ways to send one message to a certain few and only they see it. You can easily post pictures and make lots of albums if you want. There are games galore but I don't game. You can choose the settings and only allow your friends to see your page, or let anyone see it. There is a chat side where you can live coverse with each other if you want.

What I have done on Facebook is to set up a page just for Esther's Journey and only the people who sign up can see it or comment. The members on my public page and also my journey page are easily edited out. They don't even know it's been done unless they happen to try to send a message and then they'll know it. I'm just saying that when you unfriend someone, there isn't a message sent to them saying, "Esther unfriended you."

Try it, you may like it.

Indiana Karen · « **Reply #4 on:** January 04, 2012, 10:52:43 AM »

I am so sorry you are going through this Esther. I hope you got some answers at your appointment. I am not on Facebook either. Please try and keep us updated. I can't begin to imagine how scary it would be. I have always admired what a giving and caring person you are. It's time for others to help you now.

Karen

Kittyzee · « **Reply #5 on:** January 04, 2012, 05:04:02 PM »

I am sorry too Esther. I am hoping the best for you in this journey.

I am on Facebook and don't go there because I don't like it much. I don't like hearing about what people have to say on most topics. I check messages occasionally and like FB for contacting people I haven't seen or heard from in ages.

Prayers to you and Pete

cindy · « **Reply #6 on:** January 05, 2012, 11:15:57 AM »

You have my prayers for a quick and painless recovery

Vickie · « **Reply #7 on:** January 05, 2012, 06:10:14 PM »

your in our prayers.

Esther · « **Reply #8 on:** March 27, 2012, 07:38:03 PM »

I just got home from my post operative appointment. Well actually we stopped at Culvers so I could get some icecream to sooth myself. LOL.

In the end, the decision was mine, whether to have Chemo or not. It turns out that one path report said the cancer was .9 mm and they don't typically order Chemo or Radiation, if it's under 1 CM buttttt, the mammogram report showed something larger. Also this cancer had grown enough to break through the wall of the duct so is considered somewhat aggressive. Also, some of the cancer was estrogen receptive and even at my age, there is estrogen being produced in the body. There is a medication that is combined with the Chemo to lead the medication to the estregen receptive tissue. So after telling me all this, Dr. Melnik sat back and looked at me and sai...d, "What do you think?" It didn't take me long to decide that even though I'd rather not have Chemo, if a year down the pike, another cancer shows it's ugly face and I could have gotten rid of it NOW, I'd kick myself around the block. So I go in Friday to have my heart checked out and Thursday or Friday I'll have a port installed. There will be 6 treatments, 1 every three weeks. They are hoping to get everything lined up to start this on Monday but I don't know yet. It will be done at Lemmon-Holten Pavilion.

The Chemo nurse explained everything to us and gave us materials to read. I will lose my hair but if I'm lucky, when it grows back, it'll be curly like Bob Forward's. LOL. He's a guy from our church who had salt and pepper straight hair. When his hair grew back after Chemo, it was very curley. I am not sure but I think she said that a wig and it's care is free. At first I said I didn't want a wig but if it's free, maybe I'll change my mind. Or I can shave Pete's head a little closer and we can have matching hairdos.

Needless to say, I'm a little apprehensive about this but if my little grandson could go through this, then I certainly can.

Lately, this song by Josh Groban has been done by several people and circulates on Facebook frequently. I don't know if the intent of the author is that God is the You that is mentioned but I prefer to think so. "He lifts me up."

miguynmkoi · « **Reply #9 on:** March 27, 2012, 08:11:42 PM »

At least you found something small. You have made a brave decision. You're such an upbeat person, I'm sure you will be the happiness in the chemo room every time you show up! Get plenty of rest when you need it and keep on being the fabulous curly Queen of PVC!

Esther · « **Reply #10 on:** March 29, 2012, 06:01:07 PM »

Got the port put in today. No pain meds needed afterwards either. It is the coolest little doodad. They can put needles into it to insert the Chemo or draw blood through it and not have to do an IV. There is a kind of silicone that the needle goes through and it seals right up after the needle is pulled out. So I don't have to give up showers or even swimming, if I swam.

Got 4 prescriptions filled. One is a steroid and something to do with anti nausea, one helps me sleep or calms me down if I am (HMM does a person calm up?), and the other two have something to do with anti nausea. HMMM three have something to do with anti nausea.. HMMMM do I see a pattern here?

OK, first Chemo Tuesday at 8:45. They said that the first one will take longer because they monitor closely the speed at which it can be put in. They start out slow and if I don't react, they'll speed it up, bit by bit. Then the next time it'll go faster if I tolerate it well. Did I say 6 treatments 3 weeks apart. They said that I'm most likely to have a bad time of it after the first treatment...I was sitting there thinking, "Maybe I'll lose some weight during this mess." Then I read on one paper they gave me that sometimes it causes water retention and swelling-----just my luck.

perplexed ponder · « **Reply #11 on:** March 30, 2012, 06:46:22 AM »

Esther you are such a dear. Going through al of this and still coming to see us this weekend. I love you.
If you need to chat with other survivors, I know there will be some at the memorial. Just let me know. I don't want to plunge you into a discussion
you may not want to be in.

Indiana Karen · « **Reply #12 on:** March 30, 2012, 03:42:09 PM »

Esther, you are something.

I would probably be curled up in a ball in the middle of the floor screaming "why me?" You are charging into this with courage and humor................way to go.

Esther · « **Reply #13 on:** March 30, 2012, 06:47:55 PM »

At this point, it is easy to joke about it because nothing has really hurt yet. The worst part of any of the procedures was when I had to be there for an appointment at 7 IN THE MORNING!! Being retired, we have gotten into the habit of staying up late and sleeping in 'til 9 or so. So having to get up at 6 was an effort. Luckily Pete drove and stayed awake.

Another problem has been that evidently I am somewhat allergic to most of the tapes out there. A nurse said that this is not uncommon because our chest area is often more tender and responds to the tape this way. By the next morning, the area under the tape is itching and red. When I peeled off the tape, some skin attaches to the tape and pulls right off leaving a raw open sore. It's kind of a joke because a week later, the incisions are healed up nicely and then there's these other sores besides. So it happened again this time and I'm beginning to realize I can't let them use tape . The steri strips don't cause this problem. They are the narrow tape strips that go over the incisions. There is an area about 5" x 3" that has red raised ridges all around where the gauze was. So I take off the original bandage and try to use paper tape. But seeing the itchy area is so big, I can hardly get the paper tape to stick. So I put an anti itch gook around the edges and slap a large piece of gauze in it and hope it holds it in place. I have a zipper sweatshirt with a kind of collar that goes up my neck so I put that on and zipped it all the way up my neck and it works to hole the gauze. Now I wonder how long I can wear that shirt.

Julles · « **Reply #14 on:** April 01, 2012, 10:17:33 AM »

Have you tried ... uh... Great Stuff?

Esther · « **Reply #15 on:** April 02, 2012, 12:10:48 PM »

Thanks, I'll tell the surgeons.

Esther · « **Reply #16 on:** April 03, 2012, 06:58:19 PM »

We arrived at Lemmon Holton Cancer Pavillion at 8:50 and my first Chemo treatment went very well. After Christine hooked the tube to the port, along comes this tall older lady dressed in pants, a nice floral jacket, and pierced ears with a leaf shaped earring dangle. She introduced herself as a chaplain and her name was Sister Sue. Yup, a Domminican nun. She's had cancer 4 times and sat and talked about how I might feel and what to expect, etc. She gave me a booklet she had put together with many scripture references and a section of funny stuff. I said I was glad she came because we were "spiritual" people and that we went to a Baptist church. She said, "Oh good. So can I pray with you." I told her I had prayed a few minutes earlier that the drugs would go where they were needed and do what they were intended to do. She said, "Fine, that is the way I would pray too." She took both our hands and prayed a very natural caring prayer for us. She had a very friendly demeanor and was kind of comical.

Christine monitored my treatment and was also very friendly, knowledgeable, helpful, and made very sure I understood what was going on and what to expect. She was very open to questions and chit chat, which went over well with me. LOL. Next time they won't have to monitor me near as much and it won't take near as long.

When I went in, they took blood an sent it to the lab. All the stuff that was on the list was way on the high side of where it should be so that was good. My blood pressure was 167 when I went in but down to 135 when I left, so I must have calmed down.

After every chemo, I have to go back for an infusion of something that is supposed to boost my white blood cells at 3:00 the next day. And the oncologist wants to see me before every Chemo treatment. She is in the same building which will be handy.

One of the drugs that was used has a strong probability of causing nausea around the next day, early afternoon. Hair fallout is expected in two weeks. Gotta get some Nair.

What a great feeling to sit there, picturing everyone out there praying for me and thinking uplifting,supportive thoughts about me!! I felt my body relax and heard a big sigh. I breathed a "Thank You Lord for such wonderful loved ones and friends." We left at 3:00.

Kittyzee · « **Reply #17 on:** April 03, 2012, 07:38:17 PM »

Thank you for the update Esther; and for the step by step of your day. I think the more information we have about things we are unfamiliar with, but may have to experience, the less anxiety we have.

I am so glad that your experience was a positive one, and you felt the prayers of people who love you surrounding you. I hope you don't have any sickness with your chemo. I have a good friend who went through chemo and she began to lose her hair also. It was long, and instead of it coming out in clumps a little at a time, she had another friend shave her head. She bought an adorable wig a different color than her hair--why not? it's a chance to try something different!--and when her hair finally did start to grow back in, she had the cutest wavy pixie cut I've ever seen!

Esther · « **Reply #18 on:** April 23, 2012, 09:23:33 AM »

HICKUP!!!

April 14 Got infection in the port. Hospitalized for 7 days. Temp 103. Lots of tests. Draw blood every 4 hours. Ultrasounds. 3 heart echos done. Gall stone. Removed port. Blood clots on lungs. Enlarged liver. On oxygen 24/7.

April 20 Home. Blood thinner shots in belly twice a day but today the counts are up and don't need the shots any more. Picc line on underside of upper arm. Antibiotic infusion into PICC three times a day for over a month. Porthole (LOL) was left open because it was so infected so they packed it with a Z folded gauze with antibiotic on it. We have to pull a 1/2" out each day and cut it off so the tissue slowly has less pressure and will pull together and heal inside out.
Breathing levels are good and no evidence of infection.

Doctor tomorrow and Chemo #2. Will keep you posted.

SueSTx · « **Reply #19 on:** April 23, 2012, 09:25:10 AM »

ouch

I'll continue my prayers

Kittyzee · « **Reply #20 on:** April 23, 2012, 01:03:37 PM »

O for Heaven's Sake Esther!!!

I'm stepping up my prayers!

perplexed ponder · « **Reply #21 on:** April 23, 2012, 06:44:29 PM »

sending prayers and hugs.

fishlipsmcgee · « **Reply #22 on:** April 24, 2012, 09:06:21 AM »

Oh my gosh Esther. That's one heck of a hiccup. I hope you're better each day and it's smooth sailing from here. Stepping up prayers here also.

tweetybaby2005 · « **Reply #23 on:** April 24, 2012, 10:46:33 AM »

Quote from: Esther on April 23, 2012, 09:23:33 AM

HICKUP!!!

April 14 Got infection in the port. Hospitalized for 7 days. Temp 103. Lots of tests. Draw blood every 4 hours. Ultrasounds. 3 heart echos done. Gall stone. Removed port. Blood clots on lungs. Enlarged liver. On oxygen 24/7.

April 20 Home. Blood thinner shots in belly twice a day but today the counts are up and don't need the shots any more. Picc line on underside of upper arm. Antibiotic infusion into PICC three times a day for over a month. Porthole (LOL) was left open because it was so infected so they packed it with a Z folded gauze with antibiotic on it. We have to pull a 1/2" out each day and cut it off so the tissue slowly has less pressure and will pull together and heal inside out.
Breathing levels are good and no evidence of infection.

Doctor tomorrow and Chemo #2. Will keep you posted.

Sending you {Hugs} and lots of healing vibes. You have been through so much!! Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Kuan

Esther · « **Reply #24 on:** April 25, 2012, 08:34:26 AM »

Second Chemo went well. Just takes 4 hours of sitting there so kinda boring. Yesterday the doctor totally unpacked the gauze from the port hole and told us to put in fresh gauze every day. I can't do it very well as it is high on my chest and I can't see in unless I use a mirror. So Pete has to do it.

He did it the first time this morning and amazingly it didn't bother him. Now if it was bleeding, it would be a different story. The hole is about 2" x 1.5" by 1/2" deep, so you can imagine the immensity of working inside it by a plumber. But he's doing well. He had to give me the belly shots too. And three times a day we do the antibiotic into the PICC line. Says he's never washed his hands so many times in one day, ever.

Julles · « **Reply #25 on:** April 26, 2012, 05:33:25 AM »

Gosh, Esther. So sorry.

Keep us posted.

Indiana Karen · « **Reply #26 on:** April 26, 2012, 12:48:23 PM »

So sorry Esther about this setback. Hopefully things will improve.

It's wonderful that Pete can be your "nurse". Not all men would do that.

He's a good guy.

Esther · « **Reply #27 on:** April 27, 2012, 09:05:26 AM »

Saw my GP yesterday and the visiting nurse came this morning. Everybody says I'm doing well.

One possible little hickup. I had (for the first time ever) a gall bladder attack yesterday afternoon. I Googled Chemo and gall bladder and saw where the Chemo can cause flareups. On one of the ultrasounds at the hospital, they did discover a gall stone. So====will have to keep an eye out for that thing.

Think I forgot to mention that a week ago in the hospital, I began to notice loose hair. So Pete brought the clippers in and one of the aides shaved my head. At first I thought, "I'm not going to wear a hat. I have nothing to be ashamed of." But then I discovered MY HEAD WAS COLD!! LOL I was given a couple of hats and a scarf. Then yesterday I downloaded some Chemo hat patterns and made one this morning.
\

Mikey · « **Reply #28 on:** April 27, 2012, 07:44:13 PM »

So what happens during a gall bladder attack? Looking forward to seeing your personalized hat.

Esther · « **Reply #29 on:** April 28, 2012, 08:13:59 AM »

Just below the ribcage on the right====major fluxuating pain. Some went into the back on the right side too at times. Couldn't breathe deep, cough, yawn====hurttttt. It was bad enough I was picturing another emergency admittance. But then I couldn't figure out how I was going to walk to the car to get there. Really!! But in about an hour the pain let up and I slept for a couple of hours. I googled chemo and gall bladder and read a couple of comments where they suspect that Chemo can irritate or cause the loosened fatty tissues to clog the bile ducts for some people. Seeing there is a stone in mine already, maybe ===== who knows. I get the feeling that this whole thing is being treated like an "educated guess" kinda. I suppose partly because the way my body will respond to the toxic cocktail is different from someone elses or mine next time. It's like the nausea=====I've had none but did have diarrhea terrible. Now that I know that, I've started the Immodium the day of Chemo and also am using the ProBiotica and L-Glutamine. Dawn said that one oncologist told her about the one and another mentioned the other. So I'm taking both and she said they used them on Braeden. But until further Chemos, I won't know if nausea will be a problem. I've had no more pain from the gall bladder, just tenderness the next morning and now nothing.