Some parents should be shot

[Teresa]

I'm girl scout cookie mom for M's troop this year - as I've been for several years.  Every year that she's been a girl scout, she's been the top cookie seller in her troop, each year selling more than the year before and each year working harder than the year before.  This year, as in all previous years, she outdid herself and was again the top seller in the troop.

Unfortunately, we let a new girl join the troop this year - new to the troop, but not the school or the girls.  She's never wanted to be in our troop before and I suspect didn't want to this year either but it was easier for her parents to have her in our troop or maybe more comfortable since they tend to have problems getting along sometimes.  She was always the top seller in the troop she came from and rightly proud of it.
 
Orders were due Sunday, but since we didn't have school Monday or Tuesday, we collected them Wednesday.  Her order came in with a check from Dad, like all the rest.

Then she found out that she wasn't top seller.  She emailed the other leader about 5 times last night about the prizes . . . we have to order extra cookies of each kind to round up to the next highest case (12 boxes a case and you must order even cases - if the troop needs 13 thin mints, we must order 2 cases and those 11 extra boxes go to whichever girl didn't get a prize or was near the next prize level).  She was 15 boxes short of the next prize level but wanted to be bumped.  The other leader wouldn't promise until we had an accurate count of how many extra boxes we were ordering or who needed how many just to get the first prize.

So this child's father emails this morning that he forgot to add his cookies to her order and he orders the 15 extra boxes. 

So tell me . . . . if you run really fast after the race is over and catch up with the winner, does that give you first place?  Is that the kind of lesson we want to teach our children?  And is that what Girl Scouting is all about?

[Esther]

Oh Gee Teresa. What is the matter with parents anyway? So this puts you in the middle. Unfortunately he must know that the extras get assigned to kids that didn't do so well and he can't see why his kid  can't get the credit. I say that the one that honestly won should get any extra credit so there!!

[Bartman]

Can't you just say, "sorry, the deadline has past and the order is in"?  I wouldn't do it.  How many cases of cookies to the rest of us have to buy to correct this?

Bart

[Teresa]

There really is no extra credit - every girl who sold cookies last year got a little prize of a pencil and a pad of girl scout paper from the leaders.  I think Maddie got a little pack of stationary for being the top seller, but just a little thing because we didn't want to make a big deal out of it.  Still don't and both girls will get credit for being the top sellers in the troop, but neither will be pointed out as having sold more than the other.  They'll both get the same prizes and the same credit - and in fact would have without Dad stepping in and tilting the game.  He effectively donated $50 to the troop which is great, but I'm guessing he won't be happy when he finds out that it really and truely will not change a single thing.  

The funny thing about it is that my daughter was well aware of the prize levels - you get a backpack if you sell 275 boxes of cookies and a stuffed bunny if you sell 325 - nothing in between.  She knew she hadn't made it and asked if I would give her extra cookies (the difference between 275 and the 315 she'd sold as of Saturday - she ended up selling 5 more boxes for a total of 320) to the girls who had sold the least so they'd be sure to get at least one prize.  

That's what I want to teach my child - to care about others' feelings, not to win at any cost.

I assured her that I'd do whatever I could to make sure everyone who sold cookies got something - just like last year.  And I explained to her how the troop orders the extra boxes, and why and what I do with the credit for them.  

[karen J]

We are total NEWBIES when it comes to Girl Scouts.  We joined back in October, and there were not any meetings in November, then of course, came Christmas.
My daughter sold 42 boxes of cookies to family and friends (we don't have a large family), but I have got the impression that it's "Sell! Sell! Sell!". Sell lots of cookies, and you get a pencil as a prize. Sell a bunch of CORN (corn syrup, high fructose corn syrup, corn based colorings, corn-based preservatives, corn-based sweeteners, ETC) and you get a prize.

She finally got the 50 boxes needed to be awarded one prize  (at the cost of walking over 4 miles to get those sales), and she gets a "lip gloss" as a prize!  .

I am not impressed. :'( I thought Girl Scouts was supposed to impress some values... guess not.

[Viv]

Some people are just born with no conscience, the trouble is they pass this 'win at all costs' on to their children which is exactly what this man is giving to his daughter.

I remember our days of selling Girl Guide cookies, most people here buy a few packets. I think we only ever sold a box once!

Way to go Miss M!!

[Mikey]

I guess my neighborhood must be maturing.  I just realized that not a single girl scout came by this year to sell their cookies....

[barb]

Wow, times have changed since my daughter was a Brownie!  We didn't have all that pressure to sell cookies.  I think we sold maybe a dozen boxes, we don't really eat them, and we don't have family around here to twist their arms into buying them.  We went to the neighbors and sold a few.  Mostly the troop took turns selling at the local grocery store a couple of Saturdays.  I don't remember there being any kind of prizes.  That is so wrong, what is that teaching the girls?  I wouldn't have let my daughter compete like that if there had been such a push to sell.  In fact I would have probably pulled her out of the troop.   How sad.   

[Joyce]

That's why Jamie isn't in the girlscouts anymore.

My favorite lines from the Addams Family Movie:
Girl Scout: Is this made from real lemons?
Wednesday: Yes.
Girl Scout: I only like all-natural foods and beverages, organically grown, with no preservatives. Are you sure they're real lemons?
Pugsley: Yes.
Girl Scout: I'll tell you what. I'll buy a cup if you buy a box of my delicious Girl Scout cookies. Do we have a deal?
Wednesday: Are they made from real Girl Scouts?
    

[Teresa]

The girl scouts do put a lot of emphasis on the cookie sales - it's their main source of revenue and the moneys help a lot of girls who couldn't otherwise participate or go to camps in the summer.

That said, our troop goes by the same philosophy as our school - completely non-competitive.  Which is why we never give a prize for the top seller.  Any money we have leftover at the end of the year goes to whatever charity the girls pick - we gave over $1500 year before last to Ronald MacDonald house, Refugee Family Services (sent a girl to camp) and the Red Cross.

Maddie has it pretty easy when it comes to this, and she enjoys selling the cookies.  We live in a pretty big neighborhood with lots of older couples whose kids are grown and lots of young couples with very young kids - - - almost no other girl scouts.  She went just around our little block knocking on doors and sold almost 100 boxes.

We also get a lot of orders from my older daughter's friends' parents . . . their girls have left girl scouts for other things, but they still want the cookies. 

There really was no competition last year and there shouldn't have been this year.  Maddie was proud of how many she sold and that she's doing something to help other girl scouts and charity.  She also wanted the silly little prizes the council offers cuz she always wants them.  No, she didn't need the stuffed bunny and she knew she didn't.  She just wanted to do it cuz she wanted to do it.  What irritated me is that she legitimately would have gotten the bunny and she was the top seller (tho nobody had said that to her or anyone else) and this father decided to steal that from her so his daughter could have it.

[Mikey]

This “father” will be the loser.  I have seen this Bible verse come true time and time again “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap.”  In fact, it is such a truth that even mankind has come up with his own version that says the same thing in today’s vernacular, ”What goes around, comes around.” 

[livetogarden]

This is so sad. I agree with others that this isn't teaching the child the correct thing.
When my daughter was in elementary school there was a prize for the top seller in their fundraisers. One little girl's parents drove her all over the city to sell whatever it was being sold. They woud camp out at intersections (like people do now to sell rugs, paintings, etc.), arrange with grocery stores to sell at their entrances, I mean you would have thought their lives depended on this money (usually $50-75 cash). Needless to say she always won top seller. Her 5th grade year another student won top seller and the parents of the 1st girl actually came to the principal yelling that there was NO WAY anyone could have outsold their daughter. The principal turned it over to a committee and the committee caved in because the parents had said they woudl never help with anything at the school again. So there were 2 top prizes that year, although they gave the public recognition to this girl.
Makes you wonder what the world is coming to, doesn't it?!

[Esther]

Joyce, that is so funny.

I think a lot of the selling that goes on in schools offer prizes to the different levels of sales. I guess I don't see anything wrong with that seeing that is the way of life, work hard and get a reward. The kids are encouraged to do something for others too so they are learning a good concept. What it comes down to, is the mindset of the child and the parent. If the kid is motivated by doing good things, they'll get a prize and if they are motivated by getting a prize, they'll get a prize. The organization wins either way, and the kid wins either way. And on top of it all, the people that get helped in the end win too.

Kudos to you Teresa and all the others of you who donate time or money to help with kids programs like Girl Scouts.

[goldenangel]

Agree that it is sad that this is the message we are sending the kids today.  The sad thing is it is not just occuring in Girl Scouts but basically in every activity, school function, jobs etc...  How is teaching the kids that it is OK to lie and cheat to get what you want possibly good for that child?  What ever happened to "do unto others as you would have them do unto you"?  I don't think that ever changed, yet we don't teach our kids that anymore. 

Society as a whole is one big competition and (some) parents and kids have a hard time keeping that seperate.  All of the extra activites are not meant to be a competetion with one another.  It is supposed to be something fun that you enjoy doing.   When it is no longer fun for everyone involved that is when you know something has to change.