don't feel bad - feel glad!! you got gifts!!
there is never any way to know exactly what someone is going to send you unless you happen to have gotten theirs first and then have an idea of what would be comparable. even then, sometimes there is no way you can match their generosity. if you don't have it to give at the time, you can't. a certain someone in hawaii was the first person i ever traded with and i couldn't believe it when i opened my first package!! my pond went from practically bare to this lush Tropical garden (yes, i got what i considered to be a pondfull of tropicals!!) i spent two years sending her what i could, when i could, to make myself feel somewhat close to even. and i still think i got the waaay better side of things. unfortunately she either has or isn't interested in many things i could send her. but should she ever holler and say - oooh, i'd like some of that, you can bet it would be on its way to hawaii asap. and yet she has never expressed anything but gratitude and friendship at any time. i realize of course that she didn't send me anything that she couldn't spare or maybe even just wanted to get rid of to thin things out for her own purposes (at least that's what she said). but i can tell you she made an instant friend for life!!
so i try to take that same approach when i'm trading with others. i like to give and get, but at least part of it is getting a thank you and a smile from the person i send to. as long as they sent what they said, then i'm happy. and i'm sometimes even happier that they're so happy as often the plants i send are ones i want to thin or simply have an abundance of. sometimes i have to tell people i just can't spare something at the moment - maybe later. i won't let go of anything i would miss. and if i send someone more than what they send me, well, if they want to start a ledger and try to make it up in the future if it will make them feel better (like i did), that's great because that means we'll trade again or they can just pass it along to the next person they trade with. or just give a gift to. as i also try to do. not everybody has a lot to give. me, i always feel guilty i don't have the water lilies to trade - just marginals and terrestrials so far. bought a bunch of lilies last year hoping to change that and i think maybe by the end of this season i'll have enough that have grown to dividing size to join the lily for lily trading club!!
and if by chance you were including me in your feeling bad (because i know that my box to you was big with nice stalked cannas and your helvola was small with juvie pads) then take me off your guilt list!! frankly if even 4-5 of those columbine seeds grow and establish, i'll be thrilled!! and you were gonna give those to me anyway! i know you sent several of those packets to people out of generosity and i know that all appreciated it. so enjoy your cannas, please!! share 'em with everybody by taking pics and posting them when they bloom!!
they were originally a gift to me from a neighbor who moved at the same time we started landscaping the yard. six little 2" stalks grew into a plantation in 4-5 years. last year i discovered that they were something pretty unusual & neat when i saw the first bicolor blooms. and i wouldn't have known that if people here hadn't told me what i had. so i never had anything more than the watering bill invested in them anyway!! and i've still got plenty left. pretty sure i'll be offering them again next year
plus speaking personally, i enjoy the pics and other things you share with people all the time. you're another left coaster like myself and it's fun to see your ponds, yard and the things you're doing with them. you participate in the terrestrial gardening forum which i enjoy as well. it's always a delight to have you respond to a post there or to see the ones you start. your online friendship/companionship has the kind of value that shouldn't be measured in big/little comparisons.
of course if all our plants die because you sent us andy's dreaded root rot(
), well that's a different story woman!!
so, the bottom line -
