Having a crappy weekend, wish you were here . . . .

[Teresa]

I have had the worst weekend of my entire life. . . . in fact, I could go so far as to say that yesterday alone was the worst day of my life so far.  I am feeling dreadfully sorry for myself right now and could use some serious cheering up. 

So please, if it's not too painful, tell me what your worst day ever was so I can see that mine wasn't really so bad?

[livetogarden]

Teresa,
  Why was your day so bad, if I may ask?
  I would say my worst day EVER was when I was 11 years old. We lived 1 block from school so my sister and I walked home for lunch every day. On Sept. 20, 1963 we walked home and were told that our dad had been killed an hour earlier in an accident at work. I was a tomboy and my dad and I were extremely close so that was such a hard day and following days for me. Once we heard the news I realized that I had heard the ambulance as it went by school, my dad's workplace was only 2 blocks from our house and the school set on the busy through street for that area. I had no idea when I heard it that that siren was about to change my life forever. I can still remember who was there with my mom and where my mom was sitting and what she was wearing when she told us.
  I certainly hope your day wasn't anything like that.
Cath

[Krista]

I have been very very blessed in my life. My worst days aren't really that bad in the overall scheme of things. 

I think I have two worst days that are tied although different. One is when my husband came home and told me that he had been having an affair.. well not just one but several over the past several years. A part of my died that day and although we have managed to stay together I still can't regain the trust I had in him or anyone for that matter. The other  started the day I went into preterm labour with the twins at 27 weeks and delivered my sons who were 1 pound 13 and 2 pounds 1/2 oz. If not for the incredible help at the Children's Hospital, I doubt either of my boys would still be here.  I am thank-ful every day for the pilot that managed to land his air ambulance on one of the windiest days recorded in town here after several attempts and that he could take off again. Without him we wouldn't of made it to Children's in time.

My hardest day was actually 2 days.. when I lost my first set of twins 4 weeks apart and almost lost my life during the second.

[Reedman]

Sorry to hear that.     Hope your situation will get better fast.
 
I have had some very bad days - not sure exactly what day my wife actually had her stroke in 2002 - so, here's my scenario:

Today 9/10 is my birthday.  Seven years ago on 9/9 my best friend died of a burst aneurism.  :'(   Five years ago on 9/11 you all know what happened that day.  So, my birthday is sandwiched between two of the worst days in my life. 

Each passing year, I don't think about those bad events as much, though.

[Kittyzee]

Teresa, I'm so sorry you are having some very bad days.  I have had many bad times, some of them for me were earth-shattering horrible, but I have made it through to the other side.  There are too many to recount here and I don't want to write an autobiography  but I am concerned about you.  If you feel you aren't ready to share, just know I am praying for you.  We can all pray, we can even kick some ass,  what ever it is we DO care..

Standfast,

LuAnn

[Joyce]

April 11th, 2006, my doctor called and gave me the results of my needle biopsy.
It was positive for Breast Cancer, Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. :'(
Since it was over 2 cm wide, he thought that it could be in my Lymph nodes too.

Does anyone know that song that is popular now,
'Had a Bay Day?'

Well, seems that day (4-11-06) I heard it 100 times.

I HATE that song now.

Teresa, hope it wasn't THAT bad!

[Teresa]

It's very hard for me to share on an open forum on the internet, and I don't think I've ever done it before, but this has been a really painful time for me.  I have always been Daddy's favorite and have taken much grief from my sisters for having that title.  I found out that Daddy has several medical conditions, including liver cancer which has a dreadful prognosis (less than 6 months as a best case and given the other problems, well I don't want to think about that right now).  Then I found out that two of my sisters were doing their best to keep this from me (thank God my big brother was here or I wouldn't know yet).  I'm being removed as executrix of my father's will due to something these same two sisters have cooked up and convinced my father is truth (he's not quite all there right now - pain and meds and worry).  I may have been cut out of the will completely - I don't care about the money, but that's a frightening emotional burden to carry for the rest of my life.  Then one of the sisters literally beat the crap out of me - I mean hitting, punching, slapping, biting and hair pulling.  I have a black eye, neck pain, bruises all over my scalp, a gouge out of my forehead and missing an awful lot of hair.  Again, Thank God my big brother was there to pull her off me before she did any real damage - she outweighs me by at least 50 pounds.  Obviously the most difficult thing about this is that I have to pretend it didn't happen around Dad - makes it difficult when she's telling the nurses that they are not to tell me anything at all about his condition and the stupid nurses are listening.  The doctor seems to have set them right tho because the nurse today asked me (specifically me in the hall) if I had all the up-to-date information.

If my DH had been there, I might not have been beaten up, but he refused to go with me.  We both knew that Dad was in the hospital for tests, but he apparently didn't feel like being there to spend time with my family (big brother and his wife mostly) and also apparently didn't feel that it was important enough to be there to support me.  I might tell him what happened in a few years, when I start speaking to him again - if I start speaking to him again.

[Reedman]

OMG Teresa . . . I have absolutely no idea what to type . . .

[ladybug]

oh teresa, how sad.  i am very sorry for your situation.  i hope that your dad will see through your sisters evil misdeeds and will see them for exactly what they are.  i don't know what else to say, it is so sad that people choose to hurt each other.  so many things are so unimportant and they must be very empty people to hurt you at this very low point in your life.
my worst day was the day my brother and i rushed to the hospital to see my normally robust father sitting frail and helpless in a hospital bed.  he had just found out that he had pancreatic cancer.  there is no survival from that dianosis.  my mother made us promise we wouldn't cry, but as soon as he saw us he started crying and we burst into tears.  i didn't have a very close relationship with my dad and i will regret that for the rest of my life.    he was dead within five months.  he was a great man but i let things get in the way of showing him and was selfish in thinking it wasn't my fault.   it was my fault.  now he is gone and even though i spent the last three weeks of his life with him he really didn't know who i was during that time and will never know how much i loved him but just couldn't show it like i should have.  even after a year and a half after his death i am still sitting here crying my eyes out.  i am not sure that hurt will ever go away.  if only i had done things differently....
ladybug

[Krista]

Oh my! I am so sorry! I really hope that your dad is able to see what is really going on and I am so sorry about your dad's illnesses and also how inconsiderate your DH is being. You are in my thoughts with hopes for a miracle for your dad.

[Joyce]

I really don't know what to say either.

That was a really HORRIBLE day.... :'(
and the effects are going to linger for a LONG time.
Yeah, Steve shouldv'e been there with you.

But I am glad you came here and told us.
At least you have us, and we are here for you.
Wish I could do something to help.
Sometimes it just feels better to unload,
glad you did that.

[Esther]

You certainly did have a crappy weekend. I'm so sorry. And the sad part of it is that the crappiness was caused by the people who should be the least likely to do it.

I am an only child and have always felt that I have missed out on something great, siblings. But that isn't always true is it? Sometimes family just doesn't live up to what they should. There's just no guarantee that family members will treat each other the way they should, just because they're blood.

I have several worst days, I had a baby about 30 years ago born with Spina Bifida who died 6 months later, my X was having an affair and after 1 1/2 years finally left, my youngest son at age 24 made an announcement that shocked me terribly and I hardly see or hear from him any more, two years ago my mother died after having strokes 6 months prior, and lastly my daddy has been lying in the hospital for 3 weeks after being run over by a truck. But I suppose over the course of 64 years there is bound to be deaths and bad things happen. My belief in God has been my support through all this.

[CT]

I'm SO sorry you had to go through that Teresa. There is absolutely no excuse for their behavior. What goes around comes around and they will answer for their self serving evil actions. I hope things look better today and I'm glad you told us. Sometimes it just helps to talk and know that we really care.
  Hugs! 
         Kay
 

[fishlipsmcgee]

I'm sorry Teresa.  I will pray for healing for you and your family.

[barb]

These stories are so, so sad.  I'm sorry that your father is so ill Teresa, I hope his condition improves.  And your sisters are very mean.   :'(

[Teresa]

Thanks everyone, I know it was hard to share some of those stories.  I do feel a little better today, but it will be a long time before I feel good again.  Today's task is to wait for Dad to have his biopsy and then find out exactly what we're dealing with and how advanced it is. . . . we're 95% positive that there is liver cancer, but there is also a mass on his lungs that we don't know anything about.

My parents had six children - 2 boys and 4 girls.  I get along very well with both my brothers and one of my sisters.  I am so grateful to have had my biggest brother here last week and weekend; he really did save my life.  He's gone to Asheville for a week and then he'll be coming back thru on his way home to Texas.  It'll be very difficult after he leaves because my two crazy sisters and I are the only kids who live near Mom & Dad.

[CliffandJoann]

Teresa,
I am very sorry this happened to you. Simply put, it is totally outrageous that you were assaulted and victimized by your own sister

There is nothing any of us can say to make it better or to erase it. You didn't ask for advise but I am going to give it to you anyhow. Your sisters behavior is inexcusable, they took advantage of your Father in his weakened state and manipulated him into changing his will to serve their purpose. In his right mind, you know in your heart that these are not his wishes.  To cast you aside and tell the nurses not to give you any information, again is inexcusable.

You DH needs to know everything, this burden needs to be shared and it needs to be fixed. You said it was the worst day in your life, well your hubby needs to know -- that now more than ever you need his support, Don’t dwell on the fact that he didn’t go to the hospital with you, I am sure he didn’t know your were going to be beat up, but apparently he does know that he prefers not to be in the company of your sisters, and can you blame him?  Put the hurt and anger you feel in the right place – on your sisters, and not on your hubby, he is the one you need to turn to, for love and support.

You should charge your sister with assault and immediately start proceedings against your family to contest the will. You may not care about the money, but obviously your siblings do...I know I don’t have to tell you how big of a monkey wrench you can throw into your sisters greedy plans by contesting your Fathers will, and charging your family with foul play?  You have the resources to do all this at your fingertips.
This is only my advise and my opinion, feel free to take it or ignore it. People will only take advantage of you if you let them, and you’re only a victim if you lay down and don’t fight back.
Revenge is a dessert best served cold. 
Best wishes to you, Teresa and for your Dad too.
Joann
 

[tammie]

I'm so glad Joann posted before I could finish typing this!  She said what I was going to say, but said it much better!
Where is your Mom in all of this?  Can you talk to her?  Or is she like my mom was -resentfull of your relationship with your dad? 
I'm here - I'd love to help anyway I can...
I am positive that your Dad is well aware of your sisters attitude.  I'm sure they've been idiots for years.  But, you may only have a short time left with your Dad - don't let your sisters keep you away! 
Please talk to Steve.  And if you don't want to have your sister charged, at the very least take pictures of your injuries!  If you do decide to contest the will, or just to try to make your Mom see the truth, you'll have some "evidence" of your sister's unstability.
Tammie

[Loony]

Teresa, I'm so sorry all this is happening to you. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

[Kittyzee]

Teresa, OMG!  YES, to what Joann said!  You really should press charges, it was assault, and yes I know, what's even worse--it was your sister.  It's just a shame we aren't all down there, because I can guarantee you you wouldn't have to worry about getting in to see your Dad and spending all the time you wanted with him.
And about DH, can he not see your black eye, bruises, hair missing?  HELLO!!
      
Thank you for sharing your painful experiences with us, it has to help to know that so many of us care.  And, if you can think of any thing that could be done to help you through this, please, please let us know.  Geez, I wish I was in Georgia right now 
LuAnn

[Mikey]

That really was a three-strike blow....Cancer and pending death, beating by sister and no support from someone who should be your biggest supporter.  I can't imagine how you must feel.  Hugs to you

[Teresa]

It was such a tough weekend.  I still haven't heard anything about the procedure today, even if he survived it.  I'm assuming he did because surely someone would have called me if he didn't?

I really cannot tell you all what it means to know that there are people who care about this and me and what is going on here.  I cry each time I read this thread, but that's a good thing for me.  I've always held it in much longer than is healthy and letting it out helps.  My other brother called today and I had to tell him to hold off on plans to come down to see his father because I still don't know where anything stands - that was hard for both of us because it's always been my job (in the family) to know those kinds of things.  Being displaced is very confusing for everyone. 

Thanks for the empathy and the sympathy and the ear to bend and the shoulder to lean on.  I expect I will need them all again . . . . probably sooner than I want to think about.

[livetogarden]

Teresa,
  Why don't you try to call the nurse's station on his floor to see if you can find anything out?
  Hang in there. Even though most of us have never met the others on this forum we are kind of like a family. I know many others feel the same way I do in that we are here if you need to 'talk' or just to vent.
Take care...
Cath

[EagleEye]

Teresa,
I hardly know what to say. I think that at a time like this, family can be the most cruel. I hate to say it, but I know that it is true. Joanne said it best, but don't let yourself be pushed around. This is the time for you to be assertive. I really hope your husband stands by you right now. You shouldn't have to tell him what it means. He HAS to know. I'm not there, but you have to push these sisters out of the way, legally or otherwise.
Like I tell my son in college----TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You are most deffinately in my thoughts.
I'm the oldest of 8, and when I'm in that postion, I don't expect it to be pretty, but I can guarentee you that my kin better not screw with me.
Hang in there kid

Steve

[karen J]

Teresa,
I am so sorry. Honestly don't know what to say, except that I'm glad you're here with us.

My Dad died from metastasized colon-to-liver cancer in 1989. He died on my Birthday (4/10), and of course today is Laura's Birthday (9/11).

Joann is absolutely right. Keep records, take pictures, stand up for yourself, and call your husband to do the job he promised when he took his wedding vows. At the very least, you can be loving to your father now, in his hour of need.

Let me tell you, some women can be viscious. If there is a will involved (or the love of a parent), things get nasty. I have an aunt that was so jealous of my Mom for getting a "good man" that she tried to break them up- for 45 years! My Mother laughs, and that is the best revenge for her. I have a sister who was so upset when my Dad died, because he was dead? Nope- it was because he willed his train set to my Brother. How stupid is that? She will forever be carrying around a horrible, jealous grudge because of a dang Choo Choo that was always meant for my Brother from the very beginning. Duh. It wasn't the train set, it was the 30,000 that it was worth. Nasty.
Kevin's aunt brought a lawsuit against his Mom, after her Mom died. It's confusing, but she claimed that she had done "so much more" than Kev's Mom. Took the grandmother to the Doctor once or twice, and for court she produced at least 20 "bills" for her fraudulent taxi service. She lost. 
But the reason she lost is because Kev's Mom had kept excellent records (keep the records!). All she wanted was a piece of the Estate. Money.

Visit your doctor, and you will at least have a documented history of the attack. Pictures are good, but medical records are better.

Maybe if it's money that these sisters want, then it's money they should get? Give them the money and let them be miserable for the rest of their lives.

[Daisy]

I'm so sorry Teresa for the situation you are in right now. I don't have the right words to say but I couldn't agree more with what Joann said. Please know that we are thinking of you and keeping you in our prayers.
           <<<<<<HUGS>>>>>

[Lynn]

Teresa, I am shocked and so sad about all of this. And am so sorry that we kept missing one another last night, I came to the board to see what you had posted but found nothing from you, due I guess to the move to the new server. I know how close you have been to your dad and how devastating that news alone must be without the added heartbreak your sisters are putting you thru. I would absolutely file charges against them, both for the assault and for the will whether the money is an issue or not. Joann is right, hit them where it hurts, they need to learn a life lesson. I leave to Tampa in the morning....will talk to you later today. Love ya, doll.

[Bartman]

Geez, I thought my weekend sucked, but it is never good to feel sorry for yourself when someone else is having a lot worse time of things like you just did.  I hope you can get past all of this and be strong.

My "knee-jerk" reaction is to press charges against your sister.  I know you probably don't want to do that and won't do that which I can understand.  I think better to address this problem before it goes any further though.

As for changing the will.  I would deal with that right now.  If your Dad made those changes while under medication or generally while not himself there is no way that is legal.  Like others said, you may not care about the money, but this strictly a matter of what is right and wrong.  They can't be allowed to get away with it or it will just lead to more problems later.

Make sure everyone knows what is going on and tell your husband to stand up for you.  No excuses.

Take care.

Bart

[Monica]

I totally agree with the others you should press charges and deal with the will matter right now.  I know what its like to not get along with your sister.  I only have one and we don't get along and never have.  We aren't speaking now due to he calling my 5 year old names.  My kids come before anyone and i'll be damned if I'm going to put up with him being called names especially by someone who is supposed to be an adult.  I feel so sorry for you and I hope you get things straightened out soon and you spend time with your dad.  I wouldn't let those two idiot stand in my way of spending time with my father.  And I would definitly fight them over the will just to make thier life harder, I wouldn't care if I were you look at what happened to you and do they care.  No they are probably laghing about it.

I am the oldest and I know when something happens to my parents (hopefully many years from know) that there will be problems.  Everything they have is to be split equally but I know that all she wants is money because she is so greedy and has even said she can't wait for them to die so she can get it.  My parents don't have much so I don't know what she thinks she's going to get that is better than your parents.  I would want things for memories and she would want them to sell.   She is so greedy and self absorbed all she does is sit at home and think about who she can get money out of so she don't have to work or support herself.  She is 26 with two kids by two different guys.  The first one she chased and intentionally got pregnant because she thought she would get half of everything he had after 2 years of marriage.  Oh and did I mention he is as old as our mom.  The second one she got pregnant by because his parents are wealthy.  Oh and my parents bought her a house, put it on their property pay the taxes and all on it and took care of her son while she sat around doing nothing but complain.  Whild my dad worked his butt off trying to get everything together for her and he ended up almost loosing his eye and she didn't even care and both my parents are retired and disabled.  And all I got is I knew you wouldn't mind if we did this because its to help her out.

People like that make me sick.  If i were there I would do some butt whoppin for ya.  i don't care how big they are  .  You just hang in there and take up for yourself.  And you do need to tell your hubby.  But why hasn't he asked you what happened to you anyway?

I have had lots of bad days even years.  One being when my stupid sister got one of my dads hand guns when they weren't home and was going to shoot me, or maybe one of the days that she chased me with a butcher knife going to stab me.  And I always got the blame for her doing it, I always heard what did you do.  My reply was always does it matter?  I've had many days like this in my life.  Lots of physical fights with her and so much other crap.

Anyway you just hold your head up because you are the better one and take care of matter now.  Don't wait and don't let them keep your from your dad.  You don't want to have regrets when something happens and wish you spent more time with him. 

[Teresa]

I wish I could express how much all of your support and well wishes have helped me.  And it's helped to know that I'm not the only one who has gone thru horrible things. 

I'm done feeling sorry for myself.  I'm healing and I'm dealing with my dad as if none of this ever happened.  When all this is over, I will know I did the best for him that I could and none of the rest matters.  I lost these two sisters many years ago, so I'm long done grieving over them.  I still have my mother, two brothers and a sister to be my family and I will cherish them as long as I can.

Thank you so much.