Author Topic: Hay Bullfrog! (Read 3925 times)

happyoutsidegirl · « **on:** March 03, 2008, 05:12:17 AM »

Is all ok? we haven't heard from ya in awhile, How's your leg? and your wife? Talk to us!

Bullfrog · « **Reply #1 on:** March 03, 2008, 04:49:27 PM »

My wife's last blood test came out fine, no Chemotherapy!!

I am on my second week of light duty and it is driving me nuts. The first day they had me compiling a telephone list and I got a lot of well deserved suspicious questions like..

"Who are you? You want my cell and home phone numbers?" Thank God that assignment was over.

They then gave me to another supervisor to abuse me. He told me "I'm neck deep in this problem, I really don't have the time to deal with you right now."

"OK, I'll just get on the computer and review procedures (Exxonmobil is really big on procedures) He told me "Great! Yes, do that."

The next day they gave me to another supervisor and he wanted me to make a new filing system which I did. I got stalled waiting for file folders and he told me "I'm really busy with my job right now and don't have the time to line you up on anything new."

I soon got the drift. The company wants me there sitting on my butt so they do not have to record a lost time accident but they don't really care or have the time to police what I do. I have learned a really valuable lesson. They are paying me over $30.00 an hour just to be there.

So, I print out a piece of paper. It does not matter at all what is says. As long as I have a piece of paper with words written on it, I can walk anywhere with it in my hand or sit anywhere for 8 hours a day with it in front of me and everyone is happy.

Paper is majic in this world. I bet I could walk around for 20 years and retire as long as I have a piece of paper with words on it in my hand. Go figure.

But the main thing is this. My loving wife is alive and well and does not need to go back on chemo. That is the really good news and I'm touched that you remembered us, thought of me and asked. God bless you too.

happyoutsidegirl · « **Reply #2 on:** March 03, 2008, 05:05:18 PM »

So glad to hear about Mrs. Bullfrog!

but yo didn't mention how your leg is feeling about now? I know what ya mean. Where I work if a maintance guy has on his tool belt or carying a clipboard or pushing a little cart no one thinks anything about it even when they stand around for hours and just shoot the breeze.

But if I get cought standing around

and I just respond in my usual way.

Bullfrog · « **Reply #3 on:** March 03, 2008, 05:33:10 PM »

I have been so abundantly blessed in my old age. It is as if God looked at me and said to me...

"You know what? You had a tough row to hoe from an early age. You were born dark in a white world rich in prejudice. Then you were also poor on top of that.

Your child put a gun in her mouth and there was no suction available. You were the first medic at this call. You had to do suction with your mouth and a piece of rubber tubing to keep her from choking. You had to suck out the muck and then spit it out to keep her airway open until the helicopter arrived.You had a lot of tough breaks.

I'm going to send you something really special. You hold on to it and take care of it. There isn't another one like this anywhere in the world. This is the most precious gift that I can give you, cherish it."

Sure, others suffered a lot worse fate but for some reason God shined on me and sent me my wife, a really precious stone. She, like I have been polished by abrasion. We were truly made for each other.

She is unique. We have both been in trouble with the law and done time. She was really honest about it, we met on the internet and she was right upfront about it all.

This is a match made in heaven. I am not what you would call a handsome man. I am short and swarthy but I have kind eyes. I still for the life of me cannot figure how God led such a devoted and beautifull woman to me. This is my reward, just look at her. Her beauty really goes way beyond the skin.

We can be away from each other for weeks and never once worry that the other was unfaithfull, but the skin is really nice also. She is beautiful. Why look anywhere else? This is my love.

Bullfrog · « **Reply #4 on:** March 03, 2008, 05:36:21 PM »

Am I the luckiest man in the world or what?

happyoutsidegirl · « **Reply #5 on:** March 03, 2008, 06:24:40 PM »

She is trully beautiful,

Quote from: Bullfrog on March 03, 2008, 05:36:21 PM

Am I the luckiest man in the world or what?

You may very well be, Before last May when My DH passed I knew for sure I was the luckiest women in the world!

Esther · « **Reply #6 on:** March 03, 2008, 07:01:32 PM »

Bullfrog, you are truly blessed. And so is your wife.

Debbie, you were and still are too.

ME TOO.

happyoutsidegirl · « **Reply #7 on:** March 03, 2008, 07:07:16 PM »

Quote from: Esther link=topic=5063.msg51719#msg51719 date=1204599692

Debbie, you were and still are too.

ME TOO.
[/quote

Esther, thank you, I belive you from all you have talked about Pete!

Krista · « **Reply #8 on:** March 03, 2008, 07:30:15 PM »

I am so glad that your stunning wife doesn't need anymore chemo! And although that seems so silly about your job, guess you can look at it as being able to have your leg heal fully and carefully.

so, what words are on the paper?

(((((Esther and Debbie)))))))))))))

wolfmom · « **Reply #9 on:** March 04, 2008, 04:30:53 PM »

So glad to hear your beautiful Miss Vickie will not need chemo

Hope your leg is healing all right, sorry that you are bored to death at work.
Take care of yourself and Miss Vickie. You are both in my thoughts and prayers.

Bullfrog · « **Reply #10 on:** March 04, 2008, 04:49:50 PM »

Quote from: Krista on March 03, 2008, 07:30:15 PM

I am so glad that your stunning wife doesn't need anymore chemo! And although that seems so silly about your job, guess you can look at it as being able to have your leg heal fully and carefully.

so, what words are on the paper?

(((((Esther and Debbie)))))))))))))

I printed out a stupid list of pumps on my unit but my vacation was jotted down in the upper corner. Before we knew about her blood tests we moved the vacation forward to March.

If she had to begin chemo she would be way too sick to celebrate our anniversary in May so we bumped it up to March. Now that we know she will be well we can vacation in May on the beach as usual.

We will take our kayaks to the beach and rent a place for a week. She loves to paddle out beyond where the waves are breaking about 200 yards and then turn around.

The water out there gets really slick at times and you study the surf as the water breaks over the sandbars near the shore and makes waves. We begin to paddle toward the shore together.

As you approach the sandbars, the waves build up and you really have to paddle hard on either side to compensate and stay straight with the wave. When you do this right, the wave picks you up and you surf really fast toward the shore but you have to make a lot of corrections with your paddle.

If you get the least little bit sideways, the wave rolls you over and you fall out. The more that you drink, the more fun this gets. We had a blast last year with my son and Daughter in law taking turns.

I'm really glad that we will be able to do this again this year. We aren't getting any younger and God makes no promises about how many more summers that we have to share.

Debbie, my heart goes out to you and I hope that you heal well. It will take time. The loss of a loved one lingers for a lifetime, we just learn to deal with it. A friend on another board just lost her Dad and I sent her this.

Please, listen to Sarah sing about it. We sometime get so self absorbed in our problems that we don't really realize what really matters the most to us.

We want so bad to win the lotto that we sometime miss the really true treasure that is sitting right next to us. A person that all of the money in the world cannot buy one more second with.

We are so blessed with those that we love and those that love us. At times it just becomes comfortable. They are like a rock or an anchor that has always been there and will always be there, a steady presence no matter how hard the wind blew you knew that you could always count on them. There was no question, Daddy, Momma my spouse or child was there for me always my friend.

And then one day, they were gone. The good ones really leave a footprint in your heart that never goes away. We all getself absorbed, that is human nature but when they do go we have to take some comfort in other's words, those who can sing it and say it like this. Listen to Sarah sing.

It may not fit exactly but the words hit home to me..

"I need some distraction or a beautiful release, memories seep from my veins, let me be empty and weightless and maybe I'll find some peace tonight."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVbkz_3lO3c

Bullfrog · « **Reply #11 on:** March 04, 2008, 04:59:53 PM »

Wolfmom, I was running my head while you posted. Great to see you, how are the pups?

happyoutsidegirl · « **Reply #12 on:** March 04, 2008, 05:51:33 PM »

Wow, that brought tears to my eyes in a hurry!

tracey_shafer · « **Reply #13 on:** March 04, 2008, 08:41:53 PM »

Glad to hear all is well with you & the beautiful wife Bullfrog!! There are worse things than being bored at work, LOL, which I am sure your aware of.

Sandye · « **Reply #14 on:** March 04, 2008, 10:24:58 PM »

Bullfrog, it seems that you almost always make me cry...but inspire me at the same time...nice trick. I am so thankful that your beautiful wife doesn't need chemotherapy!!! That's something certainly worth celebrating.

I had no idea that your daughter had committed suicide that way. :'( For some reason, when you said you were the first medic on the scene, I thought it was a car accident. I am so, so sorry!

You know, I could stand being bored to death if I were being paid $30.00 an hour to do it. Enjoy, for Pete's sake!

In regard to the "rock or an anchor that has always been there and will always be there, a steady presence no matter how hard the wind blew you knew that you could always count on them," I'm almost in the same situation as Debbie. My DH is still alive, but is esentially gone to me. I'm pretty much the caretaker of a 200 lb., three year old child (with a temper), as far as his mental capacity. He has dementia, which I think (after some research) has progressed to Alzheimers.

P.S. I LOOOOOVE that song. I think I'm going to have it played at my funeral.

mascot · « **Reply #15 on:** March 05, 2008, 06:17:27 AM »

Bullfrog...your stories are always amazing, and I can so often relate to what you're saying so many times. The way you talk about your wife, and how much she means to you and how your heart captures how she was brought to you is how it should be. I'm happy for you that you now have someone that you can speak of so highly and so proudly, and she's got a beautiful smile that clearly belongs to you. May you both live out your lives together happy and healthy.

I'm so sorry for your losses...and though the memories will stay with you, the wounds will heal with time.

be well....

wolfmom · « **Reply #16 on:** March 05, 2008, 06:25:14 AM »

Good Morning Bullfrog, the pups are doing fine, thank you. They love these colder mornings, time to get feisty. Only problem with cold mornings is when dad is off, it has to warm up before they get their walk. He don't do cold!!

Whenever I talk to my daughter in Denver, I think of you and Zorro. My Son in Law just got his first Harley a couple of months ago, and every decent day, he's out riding. Saturday it was about 74 degrees and he got in a full day of riding (can you say happiness ?

) but of course by Sunday they were socked with snow again and more coming. He just can't wait until summer.

Enjoy your vacation with Miss Vicki, hope there is a lot of this going on--

You mentioned your anniversary is in May. Our 36th will be on the 10th of May.

wolfmom · « **Reply #17 on:** March 05, 2008, 06:46:55 AM »

Bullfrog, Please check Anything Goes on the Darkside

Desertponder · « **Reply #18 on:** March 05, 2008, 12:15:31 PM »

Quote

Paper is majic in this world. I bet I could walk around for 20 years and retire as long as I have a piece of paper with words on it in my hand. Go figure.

Actually, you might be onto something there!! And $30.00/hr. to boot!

Yeah, I know, you want to be doing something constructive. I hear ya!

So glad your wife is well. She looks like a friend of mine, they could be sisters.

Take care of that leg!!

Bullfrog · « **Reply #19 on:** March 05, 2008, 05:40:28 PM »

I can't believe this. I just spent 20 minutes pouring my heart out to Sandye and got booted. All of my really heartfelt and really carefully measured words are gone now.

I have some experience with Alzheimer's disease, not near as intense as you are going through right now.

As a child, a woman that I grew to love got this disease and it shaped our lives, mine and my kids. I think that I posted it here long ago. The story was called "God's Loving Club." Does anyone remember this?

I am a stupid, self absorbed man and at times God needs to take out a club and beat me over the head to get my attention to what really matters in this life. He taught me and my children this lesson through a woman that I loved who developed Alzheimer's disease.

I may not have posted it here but I do have it saved and can send it to you if you wish but let me tell you this.

The machine may be breaking down right now but you are doing what you promised to do before God. You are standing beside in in sickness and in health right now and I really respect you for it.

One day again, he will be whole and he will remember you for this, your sacrifice.

Please, once again, listen to Sarah sing it.

He will remember you. This body that we live in breaks down over time and it is cruel. The hearts go on for those who are true. I really respect and admire your heart. Listen to her sing your words.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSz16ngdsG0&feature=related

Bullfrog · « **Reply #20 on:** March 05, 2008, 06:01:38 PM »

Here are the words.

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your love pass you by
Weep not for the memories
I'm so tired, but I can't sleep
Standing on the edge of something much too deep
It's funny how we feel so much
But cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard
But I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your love pass you by
Weep not for the memories
I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to loose
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose
Once there was a darkness, a deep and endless night
You gave me everything you had, oh, you gave me life
And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Dont let your love pass you by
Weep not for the memories.
And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Dont let your love pass you by
Weep not for the memories.
Weep not for the memories.

Who sustains you Sandye when the night is dark and long and you are all alone?

Who stands in the center of the fire with you and does what is right?

You have never asked for our prayers. Listen to Oriah's words.

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithlessand therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

Bullfrog · « **Reply #21 on:** March 05, 2008, 06:12:13 PM »

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

This phrase catches my attention as a firefighter. There are moments when the fire is really raging and things are going bad for us. You are on the nozzle. If you drop it and run we will all burn together.

I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It is the same when you have Alzheimer's. I want to know that you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back, no matter what happens.

My life in a chemical fire is measured in seconds, thank God. Other's lives while standing in the center of their fire lasts for years at times. God bless you.

They will remember you.

marla · « **Reply #22 on:** March 05, 2008, 07:11:59 PM »

You are quite the elequant word man. I wish for you and your wife the return of good health and will add you both to my prayers. Chemo can take such a toll on your health, body and spirit. My mom is going through it again for her 4th time.

Sandye · « **Reply #23 on:** March 05, 2008, 09:58:03 PM »

Oh, Bullfrog, you made me cry again...but thank you sooooo much for your heartfelt words.

It is so wonderful to have the support of friends.

We get by pretty well if everything stays on schedule and he doesn't get upset about some little thing, but I have to admit it is a bit tiring sometimes. I've had a couple of meltdowns in the last few months when he had an all-day temper tantrum (not physically abusive, but definitely verbally abusive...oh, and he slams doors).

I hate to ask for help, as I feel like I should be able to handle this myself...but I've had to call my daughters and ask for help a couple of times.

I can't believe you called yourself a "stupid, self absorbed man." You are one of the most sensitive, intelligent men I've ever (almost) met. I hope your leg heals well, and, again, I am so glad your wonderful wife doesn't need chemo...it can be pretty nasty stuff.

Marla, I am so sorry about your Mom. I can't imagine going through chemo four times. She will be in my prayers.

tracey_shafer · « **Reply #24 on:** March 05, 2008, 10:55:27 PM »

Sometimes I think my burden is heavy & then I hear from others. May we be here to hold each others hands in the dark & the sunlight and ease the burden of one another. Bullfrog you bring out the tears & the best in all of us.

marla · « **Reply #25 on:** March 06, 2008, 05:49:33 AM »

Quote from: Sandye on March 05, 2008, 09:58:03 PM

Marla, I am so sorry about your Mom. I can't imagine going through chemo four times. She will be in my prayers.

Sandye, thank you and sorry I forgot to say the same to you but the thoughts and prayers were also included, and praying for much stregnth for you it does take so much courage to continue on caring for one that has lost the spirit and mind you had known and loved. Find help, outside or inside the family... sharing a burden is a blessing to both you and those you share it with all involved grow from the experiance.

happyoutsidegirl · « **Reply #26 on:** March 06, 2008, 06:53:10 PM »

Marla hun,ILU, thanks.
Sandye, I'm so sorry to here your story. It must be very hard for you? I work in a nursing home and see this a lot and my heart always goes out to the loved ones. For 10 yrs. I watched my DDH go down hill and all I could do was help him and love him. He was always of sound mind and took care of himself for the most part, tell the day I rushed him to the ER. The next 12 days were he!! . They had to induce a comea in transport to a bigger better Hosp.and intabate him, so he was never concious after that. I will keep you in my prayers for strengith. Just keep telling him how much you love him, you never know what's in store.

marla · « **Reply #27 on:** March 06, 2008, 07:19:44 PM »

Luv you back Deb. Through all your trials Deb, you continue to show me your courage and strength...Perfect advice for Sandye, saying those little words can help them both.

Sandye · « **Reply #28 on:** March 06, 2008, 09:07:28 PM »

Thank you Marla and Debbie.

I do have support from my daughters, but you know they have lives and work and families to care for...so I hate to ask for a lot of their time. My stepdaughter has also been a big help. She came out and stayed with her Dad while I and the rest of my daughters went to Texas for four days last Sept. to attend the wedding of my oldest granddaughter. That was a nice vacation, but DH had a hard time with me being gone for that long.

As I said, it's a lot like taking care of a three-year-old...only he's bigger and a lot more verbal. Also, it's sometimes a little harder to tell him what to do.

I've always considered myself a patient person, and it has really paid off the last couple of years. And, my name means "Helper of Man." Do you think maybe it was meant to be that I would be the one taking care of him?

happyoutsidegirl · « **Reply #29 on:** March 06, 2008, 10:53:25 PM »

Sandye, tho it's hard on him be sure once a week or twice a month you get time for YOU! Even if it means home health to come in just so you have a day here and there for you! You need to stay strong to body, mind and spirit, or your no good to him or you.