Sex Ed

[Teresa]

How many of you live in areas where the high school (or junior high, or any level of school) has sex ed?  Do you/have you let your child participate?  Do you give them a primer first?  What's covered in your primer and what's covered in the educators part?

[karen J]

My neighbor (who has 8 kids  ) tells me that they learn it in the 5th grade. And, they learn ALL of it. She said the boys come home very vocal: they've learned everything and are joking around about it. The girls are a lot more conservative: don't want to talk about it at all.

I've got a tad more time.  :'(

[Ky Kim]

8 kids WOW  . 
Kimberly

[Teresa]

Only one answer?  I was hoping for more info.

I know the public schools here don't do anything about sex ed thru 5th grade.  Don't know what they do after that. 

The private school the girls are in does . . . they have field trips (seperated by sex for several years) to the Fernbank Science Center where they have age appropriate classes.  They start out teaching the kids how their bodies work and what parts they have in 5th grade.  They go on from there each year and add more.  So far, I've remained ahead of the curve . . . DD#1 knew a lot of what they taught each year before the field trip (not so sure about DD#2, but since she's in 5th this year, I better figure out what she knows).

The High School has a guy from the CDC coming in this week to talk to the kids.  He talked to the 11th/12th graders together last week and answered any questions they had.  (The questions were submitted prior to his talk in envelopes thru the english teachers - tho there was also a q&a session during the chat).  The 10th graders went by themselves and the 9th graders will go by themselves tomorrow.  There was a parents session after the 11th/12th graders and we were given a list of the questions asked . . . . . All I gotta say is WOW!  There were some doozies on there. 

I think it's information that my daughter will need someday, but she doesn't yet.  I had the option of saying she couldn't go, and considered taking it but ended up giving permission.  We've had 3 or 4 really good conversations about things she didn't know or understand in the last week, so at least she'll have an idea what they are talking about. 

[Joyce]

They started in our public schools in kindergarten, teaching them about private body parts and who should and shouldn't be touching them. I gave permission, because knowledge is power....and I was Jamie to be completely empowered all the time...and knowledge can keep the children safe.

Not knowing what people can do to you, and not knowing if it's wrong or not...can be extremely dangerous.
Children are easily manipulated.

In 4th grade she learned about menstruation and the birds and the bees.
Once again...if they are old enough to get their periods, yes, they do NEED TO KNOW what is going on with their bodies and what could happen if they had sex. Personally, in this day and age, I don't think they are ever too young to learn and understand about their bodies. It could keep the from getting raped, or worse yet, pregnant. There are just too many predators out there....waiting for that naive, sheltered young lady to fall for their schemes.

By the time they are in high school, it's really too late...they have already heard enough from their friends...and anything from peers is NOT accurate info AT ALL.

Jamie is being taught about her body very matter of factly...all facts...and some of it is very intimidating, as it should be. Sex shouldn't be a game. Or done foolishly.
One of the facts they tossed around in the orientation program for the parents is that most girls who get pregnant were ignorant of the facts of life and the actual act that got them pregnant. They had no clue!
So ignorance is not bliss.

So Jamie has know all along which of her body parts are off limits,
and which body parts need to be treated with the utmost respect by EVERYONE.
And she also knows she can come to me and tell me who, when and where someone has tried to molest her.

So sex education isn't just about the birds and the bees,
and it's not about teaching your kids how to have sex.

It teaches your kids to respect themselves sexually,
to protect themselves against sexual predators,
and to speak up if they experience one.

[LeeAnne151]

While I don't have kids I really agree with Joyce's thoughts on the subject.

I had many teenage girls work for me and their ignorance about sex and their bodies horrified me.
(Many were more comfortable talking to me than their mothers)

[Ky Kim]

Well said Joyce! 

Kimberly

[Mikey]

I think sex education is a parental responsibility, however, many parents don’t know how to be a parent and therefore sex education has become a responsibility of our school system. 

I’m a baby boomer.  Sex wasn’t discussed in the classroom nor did my foster parents teach me anything at home.  I recall one time at about age 8 when the bedroom door my foster parents room was closed.  I could hear scary noises coming from inside the room and I didn’t know what to think.  My foster brother, who was one year older, told me that mom and dad were in there “humping”.  LOL  I had no idea at the time what humping was and figured it had to be something bad due to all the moaning, groaning and whimpering I was hearing.  What I learned in my youth about sex I learned from other guys my age.  It wasn’t real helpful and certainly didn’t view the female with honor or respect.  I basically learned about the female anatomy via the anatomical transparencies in Encyclopedias and occasional sneak peeks at Playboy at newsstands……  At the junior college level a class in sex education was mandatory.  They called the class something else such as Health Ed or something but it basically dealt with avoiding pregnancy and venereal disease.  This was long before HIV had spread through the population.

In any event, I managed to grow up without fathering bastard fatherless children all over God’s creation as is happening today. 

[Teresa]

Oh my daughters are definitely being properly educated, both at home and at school.  I was just wondering what the rest of the world is doing.

[tinkster]

My daughters school just sent a letter home that they are conducting class for the 11 and 12 grades on what its like to have a baby, etc.  In our area teenage pregnancy is VERY high.  There are 3 12th graders out of a class of 40 that have 2 kids.

In grade school they started the "inappropriate touching" and personal private parts, along with the dont talk to a stranger... but I found even though my daughter knew not to talk to a stranger.. she didnt know what a stranger was. 

Tinkster

[Esther]

This reply is kinda off topic, sorry.

I have a friend on another forum who is an expert photographer. She had been watching her son's baseball game and noticed several smaller children playing on the swings and park toys nearby. She thought they would make adorable subjects for her pictures so went over and snapped a few from a distance. They were fascinated by her big camera lense and there were no adults around. They began to approach her and ask her to take their picture. She said, "Are you supposed to talk to strangers?" Their faces fell and they immediately slunk away from her. She told us this to give an example of how vulnerable our kids are in that situation even when they knew not to talk to strangers. I have heard time and time again of situations where children had just been in classes where the "stranger" bit was stressed. There were people set up to try to get the kids to talk to them and often the kids did, even though they had just come from a class about it.

[LeeAnne151]

MOST molestation comes from a trusted adult, unfortunately......So horrible to constantly read of teachers and coaches and priests......

On a different subject, my sister in law refuses to teach her son the correct words of his genitals. She thinks "penis" is a dirty word and that "winky" or "pee pee" is better. I strongly disagree. What do you think?

[Joyce]

I disagree too.
Penis is a correct anatomical term for a certain body part.
Such as Lung, Breast, Kneecap, etc.

The problem is, people mix religious beliefs (and often religious hangups) with sex education, and the two should not ever be confused with each other.

People of all religions have sex.
Sex is a fact of life.
Sheltering a child from the facts of life can ultimately cause serious damage to the child.
People should be 'matter of fact' about sex.
Cuz sex is a matter of facts.
It's NOT about religious beliefs and taboos.

It's a fact: Some day your child will have sex.
The more facts your child knows about sex,
the safer your child will be when that moment happens.

Or when the moment DOESN'T happen cuz your child knows the facts and says,

 "DON'T TOUCH ME!".

[LeeAnne151]

SIL isn't religious at all. She is just very immature for a 42 year old and not too well educated on human reproduction herself.

Unfortunately, I am aware from what my husband has said that my MIL also used silly names for body parts and body functions. Bob thinks "penis" and "vagina" are dirty words too. He isn't too thrilled with "urination" or "diarhea" either. Personally, I have always cringed when I heard someone say "potty" especially an adult with NO child in tow!

I just don't get it, myself. Of course a child will learn slang words but I think parents should teach the correct ones.

[barb]

The kids have sex education here in middle school, but just what year I can't remember.  I think 7th grade, both my big kids are now in high school.  In sex ed they had to sign a paper stating that they would remain celibate through high school.  I thought it was interesting that they made them sign such a paper.  I asked my daughter what would have happened had anyone refused, but she said no one did.  However, judging from the behavior of some of the high school kids those signatures are meaningless.   

[Teresa]

Well that's helpful . . . force the kids to sign something and it means absolutely nothing. 

[Joyce]

I agree Teresa.
Totally unreasonable and meaningless.
What incredible stupidity on the school part.

Oh, I get it LeeAnne...she is just being childish.
I've got a lot of friends like that too.
Dont even like me talking about Breast Cancer cuz Breast is a dirty word.

What am I supposed to say,
I've got Tit Cancer?
Hooter Cancer?
Cancer of the Jugs?
 

Oh wait! Mammory Gland Cancer.

[Bartman]

Joyce,

Properly, BOOB cancer.  Geez 

This is a fascinating thread.  I have no kids.  If I did I would want to answer whatever questions they had truthfully and correct.  Doesn't mean they need every little detail at age four when they ask where babies come from, but I believe they should get answers.

Generally I think parents should be doing this teaching, but like already mentioned, parents seem to be falling down in that department.  I'd say about half the people I know who have kids had them by "accident" so I'm not sure if they know themselves enough to teach their kids.

I know my parents basically taught me nothing in this regard.  I gathered what information I could at the time and finally asked them to fill in the blanks when I couldn't find the rest of the answers.  Talk about a process that could have been avoided if they just would have been less horrified of talking about sex when the time came!  I could have used the Internet back then!!

Bart

[Teresa]

This is a fascinating thread.  I have no kids.  If I did I would want to answer whatever questions they had truthfully and correct.  Doesn't mean they need every little detail at age four when they ask where babies come from, but I believe they should get answers.

When I got pregnant with DD#2 when DD#1 was only 4 (not quite, actually), I found a wonderful book that was pretty detailed.  It not only explained what was going on, it had a chart with the size of the fetus from the beginning to the end.  It was pretty darn cool . . . .

I've pretty much always been very open with the girls and so has their father.  I've answered any questions and occasionally volunteered info when they didn't ask questions but should have.  I've always felt that it was my responsibility to impart this info too . . . . not just because they needed to know the actual facts, but because it's also my job to let them know what my opinions about things are and what my values are. 

So there ya go, I'm raising two more just like me - Look Out World!!!

(Only if they decide they have the same values and opinions, which they may or may not . . . . .)

[Mikey]

Dont even like me talking about Breast Cancer cuz Breast is a dirty word.

That reminds me of when the fetching one breast fed our kids back in the mid to late 70's.  Even though she used a small blanket to cover their head & her breast while feeding them, some people were very offended at her for doing so in public. 

[LeeAnne151]

Bob and I were in a Denny's once and this lady opened her shirt and flopped out her very large breast and then picked up the baby and started feeding it without using a towel or blanket at all.

It was a Sunday morning and place was packed...While I am 100% in favor of breast feeding, this was not ok! Bob was horrified. He had never seen a pregnant/nursing woman's breast and had no idea of the changes they go through. LOL

Joyce, good grief! Many people wouldn't even know what you meant if you said mammary gland cancer. LOL