Today at 4

[Roark]

Fighting back!!! YOU GO, BRAEDEN!!!!

Roark

[mcp]

Esther , My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

[Julles]

The sister-in-law of a friend of mine died Wednesday, of breast cancer.  She had declined treatment, and the last month(s) was very hard.  She died in Hospice, after only a few days there.  Their experience with Hopsice was very positive. 

Even though they were expecting the death, the family is a wreck.  It's so much harder when it becomes real.  Even my friend, who is "only" related by marriage, says it's hard to think, and to make decisions.  One thing they were glad of is to have found a home for the woman's cats (guess her husband didn't want to keep them).  It was a big relief to the dying woman to know her pets would have a home.

What is the update on Braeden, Esther?  My thoughts are with him and your family.

[Esther]

Nothing much more that I know of. Kevin stayed overnight at the hospital and haven't talked to him since yesterday noon. I'm taking the kids down to the hospital at noon and then going home for the weekend. Braeden is still able to sit up in bed and play a bit. His speech is somewhat garbled I guess but still communicating. Kevin wanted the kids to be able to spend some time with Braeden while he can still talk and is awake.

[marla]

It is good that they are able to spend time with him, but as they are older and understand the enevitalbe outcome it must be very emotional and straining for them also.  Do they have a counsler they see, or someone besides family that they can talk to?  Wishing and praying for all of your family.

[Esther]

They haven't started with a counselor yet. But with school, the baby, the hospital, and his job, I don't know how they'd work it in. Dawn doesn't leave the hospital unless Kevin is down there. She is going home this weekend and going to church Sunday morning but heading right back as soon as church is done.

There is a Gilda's Club in Grand Rapids. They offer all kinds of grief counseling for different ages. There is a support group for kids that is kind of group therapy that Kevin thought would be good for Eliana. She's only 7. She'll fit right in because she is just a little "Miss Socializer" and talks to anybody. Ian on the other hand at 14 may or may not work well in something like that. But he will talk about it because I talk with him and he tells me all kinds of stuff about his feelings etc. A few days ago, he was crying and said his life seemed like a train wreck. I told him that it was but we were all on the train with him. I asked him if his friends know about Braeden and he said, "Oh yah." We'll never know what these kids have suffered.

[miguynmkoi]

You're doing it right, Esther.  Uninhibited communication for the kids and the adults absolutely important!  I hope you are well too.

[Esther]

Yes, like always, it's "one foot in front of the other." I have joked that I want the phrase put on my tombstone that says, "She did what she had to do." Or as Dr. Laura would say, "She did what was right." I guess I was brought up to just keep going and fill in where I was needed. I seem to thrive on that.

My favorite job at the bank was customer service. I hated the "personal banker" position because of the mandated selling. I hated the management job because of having to keep track of what other employees were doing. It seemed funny that noone had to tell me what to do when it came to helping people so why did I have to keep on other people to make them do their job? I got out of that when the bank decided I could do the job of two people and threatened to quit if I couldn't have the customer service position back. They all of a sudden realized I was being imposed on. HMMMM whipped right around and found two people to do what I was doing and let me go back to customer service and keep the same wage. Fair enough?? I'd say so.

[Julles]

Ian might not open up in a group with lots of younger people.  But in a group of his peers, I bet he'll find it easier to talk.  In the meantime, I think you have an important role, as a loving family member, but not a parent, and he can feel more open with you.

Today is Saturday... What's the latest, Esther?

[Esther]

Yesterday he began having some discomfort from the fluid buildup in the abdomenal area which comes from the tumor and the pain meds weren't relieving it. The surgeon put in a valve type thingy today and removed about 12 ounces of fluid. How many ounces in a liter? The Dr. said there was a liter all together but they needed to leave some in there for some reason I don't remember. Kevin said that almost immediately he seemed more relaxed. The valve will stay in place and they can remove the excess fluid as needed.

Kevin stayed overnight at the hospital Thursday night and must be he liked it because he's staying again tonight. There is a twin size chair/bed thing that Dawn sleeps on and they sleep on it together. HMMM wonder if the room door locks.

[emm]

Still thinking of all of you and especially of Braeden in his hospital bed.  I'm glad that both his mom and dad are able to stay with him tonight.  You've been such a rock Esther.  Glad that there are still little things that can keep you chuckling as you all wait this out.  My heart goes out to you.    emm

[Esther]

Thanks. Sometimes we are crying and laughing at the same time.

[marla]

Thanks. Sometimes we are crying and laughing at the same time.

I know this feeling to good, and have been there numerous times and I'm sure in my life many more.....I'm jsut hoping that it will not be for one of my grandkids.  You all seem to be dealing with this well, prayers continue.

[Esther]

We went up to the hospital today and they had just drawn 12 more ounces of fluid off Braeden's abdominal area. HE was sitting up in bed and had a little smile. He played with a sponge gun that shot sponge rockets. Grandpa held his bath pan and tried to catch the rockets. He thought that was cool. He busily bossed people around and told on me that I had taken M & Ms out of the bag. When it was time to leave, he high 5d me and banged fists with Grandpa. It was so good to see him pretty much pain free and comfortable.

[marla]

How nice for all to be able to see him more chipper good lasting memories.

[Bonnie]

It was so good to see him pretty much pain free and comfortable.

Good to hear Esther!

[Sandye]

Oh, Esther, after reading this post, I went back and checked your previous posts.  (I've been hanging out at an Alzheimers forum because of my DH's dementia.)   

I'm so sorry to read the news that they can do no more for Braeden other than to keep him comfortable.   :'(

You, and the entire family still have my thoughts and prayers...and tears.   :'( :'(  :'(

[barb]

I'm glad they have found a way to keep him comfortable, Esther.